Monday, January 22, 2007

Fa(il)ling in love

He is standing on the tallest building around. In spite of all measures taken by security department, he managed to get on the top of this 500 m tall building and he is about to JUMP. He is unaware of the surroundings, it is dark both inside and outside. He has lost his love, his only love and all his hopes. He loves her more than anything and after 2 years of relationship, she said “Sorry, we don’t have any future together”. Stunned and this came out of his mouth unconsciously “What! I don’t understand, what went wrong”. Her immediate reply was “Exactly! This is your problem. You never understand”. He let her go at that time, but he pledged that he would make her understand, how much he loved her and no one else can love her more than him. He cried; people showed sympathy. Tired of other sympathy, he started smiling, keeping his sorrow inside; people thought he had forgotten her. All this has led him to this moment – On top of this building.

He says his final words to her “Good bye” and jumped. Chilly wind starts hitting his face, forcing him to close his eyes. The falling sensation is making his body numb. In 10 seconds he is going to hit the ground. What he has missed was the air drag which has increased considerably by his open arms and loose clothes. He starts thinking about her. He is sure that she will feel sad; he wants to make her sad for leaving him so that she can realize that she did a mistake. A smile appears on his face. His conscience replied “Is this what you call LOVE”. He argued logically. But at that last moment he is not able to cheat his conscience. Why not! Cheating own conscience is the easiest thing to do. For the first time, he not only forgives her but instead he is feeling guilty. One thought leading to another and in those 5 seconds his whole life flashed in his mind. He hated all those who were unfair to him. But then there were many instances when he was unfair. His eyes are still closed but there is light now. The meaning of love and friendship are clearer than ever. He remembers the kindness shown to him, which he has often overlooked. Love is not in life time commitment, it is in moments. She cannot marry him does not mean that she does not love him anymore. She does. Being together is not everything and if it is everything he already has 2 years of it. If those 2 years means nothing then probably after spending 50 years together he will think like this only. Love is when and what you feel. He cannot die. He has to live for those people who love him. His mind is totally clear now. In the beginning he has opened his arms in submission but now his arms are open to embrace. His face calm and eyes still closed.

But he is falling. Falling at very high speed. This falling seems familiar. He has seen himself falling many a times in his dreams. His eyes still closed. And he is thinking “It has to be dream and now his eyes will open and he will find himself lying on bed.. and from tomorrow, he will set everything right. Actually everything is already right. Only his mind was full of anxiety which was getting projected in the real life and now that is all gone……………………………” THUD!!