Fa(il)ling in love

He is standing on the tallest building around. In spite of all measures taken by security department, he managed to get on the top of this 500 m tall building and he is about to JUMP. He is unaware of the surroundings, it is dark both inside and outside. He has lost his love, his only love and all his hopes. He loves her more than anything and after 2 years of relationship, she said “Sorry, we don’t have any future together”. Stunned and this came out of his mouth unconsciously “What! I don’t understand, what went wrong”. Her immediate reply was “Exactly! This is your problem. You never understand”. He let her go at that time, but he pledged that he would make her understand, how much he loved her and no one else can love her more than him. He cried; people showed sympathy. Tired of other sympathy, he started smiling, keeping his sorrow inside; people thought he had forgotten her. All this has led him to this moment – On top of this building.

He says his final words to her “Good bye” and jumped. Chilly wind starts hitting his face, forcing him to close his eyes. The falling sensation is making his body numb. In 10 seconds he is going to hit the ground. What he has missed was the air drag which has increased considerably by his open arms and loose clothes. He starts thinking about her. He is sure that she will feel sad; he wants to make her sad for leaving him so that she can realize that she did a mistake. A smile appears on his face. His conscience replied “Is this what you call LOVE”. He argued logically. But at that last moment he is not able to cheat his conscience. Why not! Cheating own conscience is the easiest thing to do. For the first time, he not only forgives her but instead he is feeling guilty. One thought leading to another and in those 5 seconds his whole life flashed in his mind. He hated all those who were unfair to him. But then there were many instances when he was unfair. His eyes are still closed but there is light now. The meaning of love and friendship are clearer than ever. He remembers the kindness shown to him, which he has often overlooked. Love is not in life time commitment, it is in moments. She cannot marry him does not mean that she does not love him anymore. She does. Being together is not everything and if it is everything he already has 2 years of it. If those 2 years means nothing then probably after spending 50 years together he will think like this only. Love is when and what you feel. He cannot die. He has to live for those people who love him. His mind is totally clear now. In the beginning he has opened his arms in submission but now his arms are open to embrace. His face calm and eyes still closed.

But he is falling. Falling at very high speed. This falling seems familiar. He has seen himself falling many a times in his dreams. His eyes still closed. And he is thinking “It has to be dream and now his eyes will open and he will find himself lying on bed.. and from tomorrow, he will set everything right. Actually everything is already right. Only his mind was full of anxiety which was getting projected in the real life and now that is all gone……………………………” THUD!!

To whomever it may concern

Height of flirting: To write a love letter with title to whomever it may concern. But it is not exactly like this. Actually I wanted to write a love-letter but I have no one to write to so I preferred this title. And, moreover I don’t want to break any heart, so let it be like this only. Again! You people are wrong, jiska naam likhta dil ushka tut-ta.

Hi

For quite a few days, I wanted to say you something. But I was not able to structure my feeling in words and secondly I was not sure about your response. So going by the age-old method, I am lettering this to you. I never thought that I will ever do it, but now today I am going to do it. Hey! Wish me luck.

From the day we met, I liked a lot of things about you. I liked your sense of humour, your style, your dressing sense even the pictures you put in your avatars at different places. I used to think that I like you only because of all these. I liked thinking about you all the time. In every moment I used to think if you would have been here how you would have reacted. Even while watching movies, commercial or cricket match, I always wished you to be with me. I used to think your funny comments would have made it more interesting. At sad moments also I used to think that your words can inspire me. I used to think that I want to be with you because you are interesting and inspiring.

Then, one day I was thinking of some joke [that too to tell you] I remembered a really stupid joke. The joke goes like this- Santa singh goes to doctor and told him that every bone in his body is broken. Doctor asked “tell me exactly which bone”. Santa pressed his index finger to his thigh and told see it hurts, so thigh bone is broken, then he pressed his index finger to hand bone and said it hurts too, so it is broken too and likewise he repeated this process and he concluded that all his bones are broken. Then the doctor replied “Stupid, you index finger is broken”. Until that day, I used to think it as a stupid joke of stupid Santa singh. But that day I realized if we think as metaphor this is not really a stupid joke. Many a times we fail to realize the most obvious thing. I suddenly realized that day well it not the whole body it is just the finger .. means it is not everything you do or put I like. Actually it is the finger i.e. you. I like all these because you do it. It struck me like an arrow but suddenly everything was making more sense… so much sense.

From that day everything changed. Life became more beautiful. I tried to say everything to you. May be I said and you heard it too. I don’t think that you are the most beautiful girl on this planet; I just think you are more beautiful than the most beautiful girl in the world and I feel it in my heart, in my eyes and in my mind everywhere. I want you to give me the permission to buy everything you want in this life [of course as much we can afford]. You may think like that you are not so stupid to accept me as your life partner. But who told you that wise people never make mistakes. Equally not every time fools make mistakes. For once, be a fool do this foolish thing and I assure you that you won’t regret it. If ever there was a reason I had already forgotten it and now I don’t know why but I love you and I will love you evermore.

Just be mine. I long for your company, your touch, your voice but right now I am waiting for your answer. Take your time but please don’t take too long to decide because I am holding my breath.

Kolkata: This weekend

Ok, I want to write something in my blog. I want to write something, anything. There are many topics in my head [knock knock… yes they are there]. But it is always hard to break the silence. Forget all this… there are many issues like.. I know I have to change my blog template.. I want to write about my final days at Kharagpur, my childhood and about beginning of this new phase in my life. Instead of all this I am writing about two general things. First about Kolkata [there is better sites to get information about this city] and second about my this weekend [there is no twist and turn in my life and here in this city I have spend most of the time at three vertices of a triangle- Office, Flat and City Centre].

This is my 7^th year and second innings in Kolkata. These two phases are completely different. Only thing in common is me… ok two things Kolkata. Enough about Kolkata, lets talk about my weekend. Saturday “Lage Raho Munnabhai” then lunch then afternoon nap, evening tv, computer games and then dinner and then finally at 2.30 am to bed. Good night. [what!! This much only.. nothing special]. I told you, I am writing about two general things. Ok now back to Kolkata. Many people don’t like Kolkata. Some think that Kolkata does not deserve to be a Metropolitan. For me I like Kolkata most among all the metros and A1 cities [why??? Err… I have never been to any other metro]. Kolkata once called “City of Joy” is now considered to be a dying city by many.

Like all other metro, it has a lot of shopping complexes and multiplexes, science city, aquatica and many other fun joints. I feel what makes Kolkata different than other cities is its culture and its people… BENGALIS. Now I am not a believer of fact that “Bengalis are more affable” nor I believe that they are “annoying and argumentative”. I just think [being a good student of statistics ..Ahem Ahem] that like any random population it is a mix of good and bad people. But their love for their culture is amazing and Kolkata can never be a dying city because Bengali carry this city in their hearts.

City Centre is the best multiplex as per me. It is has lots of space, some good snack joints and one Inox. Food in pizza hut, kfc, restaurants is all same as other places but food in road side is definitely bong’s favorite and I like Bengali food. I like fish, I like rice. [fish and rice comprises half of Bengali menu]. Transport is cheaper in Kolkata than other places and working class in ruder [both thanks to government]. Huge traffic, but at least a bit saner [only somewhat]. Saltlake, where I live, is a newly developed suburb of Kolkata. Now many companies are opening up offices here - fuelling a demand for more residential and office space and with constant pace this city is also growing [So no scene of dying city anyway]. The heart of city is the older part of the city that is central Kolkata. Oh I almost forgot about my weekend. Ok so Sunday. No movie.. nothing special to do. My flat mates Biswadeep and Javed were planning to go out with Reecha and Madhurima [same company]. Apparently they all had some work and they asked me care to come.. I said “Why not”. In spite of my long stay at Kolkata I have never seen much of it. Kolkata and my weekend are coming together.

Now I have heard and read about girl’s shopping, and I always thought that guys exaggerate this. But sadly I was going to know this in hard way that not all hearsay is an overstatement. We three guys were as usual a little late and girls were on time [after all we are talking about shopping]. So they move ahead and we planned to meet them at Crossword [suggested by Madhurima]. It was nearly 12 and we three were very hungry. Crossword seems to be a strange name for a restaurant but I am already been deceived once [there is one restaurant named caught and bowled and I thought it is a bowling alley]. Taxi, in Sunday traffic took about 50 minutes to reach Crossword from city centre. Javed spotted Reecha in Crossword [certainly it does not look like a restaurant]. All I can see, were books but I don’t loose hope that easily. There must be place to sit and eat inside. Just my worst fears [ok I exaggerated] come true when I stepped inside and realized this is actually a book store. But, actually a very good bookstore. Nice collection, great ambience and some cute faces around. But still I am hungry. I pleaded to Reecha “Jaldi karo”. Her reply was “ Aise bologe to kaise chalega … abhi to aye hai” [remember this dialogue.. you all be hearing this a lot in your lifetime]. Even hungry bhav liked that place. So many good books. Biswa bought a book for his mother [he hardly took 10 mins]. Reecha and Madhurima took another hour to select their books.

Well by this time, all were hungry and we were looking for restaurant. It is said a desperate being usually make a bad decision. We did the same mistake. We ushered into the first restaurant we were able to see. Not so good food [End of story].

It was a fine sunny day. But suddenly rain started and we went inside one posh saree store. I took Biswa’s mobile and started playing car race. Yupiee I made two new records and the girls find nothing good enough to buy. By now it was raining hard and it was decided that we to go Metro-Plaza [another shopping mall]. I was amazed how quickly girls collect information about the shopping centers. In 20 minutes we reach there.

Time nearly 3 pm. One hour passed. By this time I have seen the entire metro plaza. I came back to my group. Reecha was looking for a pair of shoes. She was all alone and yet unaware of that [because she was totally engrossed in shopping]. She tried all the shops in the shopping center and she liked just one pair of shoe. But it was not available in her size. She tried many [in which I also suggested some], but she was saying this is not perfect [how come only girls know what is perfect, how they realize the perfection]. I was surprised to see that girls actually see in mirror that how the shoe fits. C’mon! You can see how the shoes in your feet look by our own eyes. Just to help Reecha I said that I have been working with you for 80 days now and I have never noticed your shoe or sandals [Encouraging words… still they were not enough]. Meanwhile I liked one Greek Goddess type dress which on display outside a store and I made 2 new records [car race]. Madhurima has bought something.

So finally at 5 pm we were leaving around 500 pairs of unwanted shoes and metro plaza. Javed left at this time, and we four head to Esplande. We took Metro. Now metro is something which is pride of Kolkata. Delhi has metro too but Kolkata metro being the first metro is India was built with love and pride and it can be seen too. Esplanade is always crowded but today it was much more than the usual. Ohh. We forgot that Puja is coming. Another thing, which makes Kolkata special in this time. Bata now and once again Bata failed to please Reecha. Madhurima was looking for Shirts. Rain was making things more difficult. Madhurima bought a couple of shirts on Biswa’s suggestion. I think she was getting tired now, so she was quick.

Then we moved for Shreeleathers store. My god!! There is a queue outside this store and a very long one. People are entering in a queue. Strangle me to death but I won’t enter this store. Then we entered a smaller shopping complex. This place is also too crowded. It was hard to breathe there but the usually slow girls were really fast and I and Biswa were the one who were lagging behind. Finally we found a shoe store there too. Reecha was finally found her perfect pair of shoes [really strange how these girls realize that is something is perfect]. It was 6.30 pm now but totally worth it. Reecha was explaining to me that her why she took so much time in selecting one shoe [incomprehensible for me]. Really Girls have perfected the art of shopping and they are the best. BEST. [in shopping]. All were very tired by now. We decided to return [Oh! I now remember.. why I came today with Biswa. He told me this place called “Coffee house” serves some great chicken sandwiches]. So after all this I am not getting the sandwich. I don’t like this majority wins rule.

Near Sovabazar, while waiting for auto, I saw one an old house. That house made me think. What this house must have seen in all these years. 50 years back it must have seen that broad road being built [which is now not all able to sustain all the traffic at rush hours]. Kids at that time must have clapped when they used to see a car from their windows and now people living in this house must have got the habit of hearing loud because of the traffic noises. Anyway, we got auto soon. Like this Kolkata, this world, even the universe [see what happened to Pluto] and our lives are changing.

If you still reading this line --> Thank you. And I had a great day thanks to Madhurima, Reecha, Biswa and Javed.

tagged again!!

Tagged by Curiosity

*Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4.
[I have to get up.. ahhh] Notice there are two embedded double quotes in the string.

*Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
Everything I need for next 12 hrs is there.

*What is the last thing you watched on TV?
India Pakistan Match

*Without looking, guess what time it is?
10.15 pm

*Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
10.41 pm

*With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Thank God!! Nothing

*When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
For dinner about 2 n half hour ago

*Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
My blog (New) template

*What are you wearing?
Full t shirt n 3/4^th …or whatever it is called.

*Did you dream last night?
Yes. Had a very weird dream.

*When did you last laugh?
In the evening.

*What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Spiders and their infinite webs.

*Seen anything weird lately?
Yeah. The dream.

*What do you think of this quiz?
Easy going ……so a good one.

*What is the last film you saw?
V for Vendetta. Remember Remember the fifth of November.
BTW V is for Voice too.

*If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?
I will spend it in such a way so that I and others can be happy.

* Tell me something about you[me] that I[who tagged me] dunno.
You know almost nothing about me. First thing first. I am not a very creative person.

*If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I would change… I would change EVERYTHING.

*Do you like to dance?
No!!

*George Bush
……………Ahhhh

*Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Too early..yaar. Yeh sab sochne ka time nahi hai.

*Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Hahahaha….

*Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yes. But for 3 4 years.

*What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
Yaha chaos mat machana. You did enough back there.

*I tag
Samiran
Avinash
Saurabh
Athena
Megha
Chandu
Sunasir

Whoever designed this tag must be an Indian living in US of A.

katzenjammer

There is an old saying: Everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time. And yesterday it happened for the third time. It forced me to write this blog. This is kind of dream-hangover. It is a state where I can not decide whether I am dreaming or I am awake, the phase were all my senses work, my mind works, yet there is so much confusion. It seem to me like my brain is divided into two parts, one trying to create the confusion by building up stories and other part trying to make things logical and reasonable.

First time, it happened, when I was in class 9. Our board starts from class 9. So most of my friends have utilised their year break and have done some advanced studies. On the other hand I was not even aware of this fact that class 9 portions would also be there in board exams. In hostel, suddenly everyone was talking about the studies and board exams (naya naya josh tha…logo ka). I was not able to understand a thing in class or even what my friends used to talk. This had a deep impact on me. No I didn’t start studying hard, I started to have nightmares. I had nightmares like I am sitting in examination room, and I am unable to answer a single question. After some nights it became worse. I used to see that questions are coming out of question papers and kicking me punching me, answer script mocking me. I had similar dreams for about 4 5 days, and then one day I wake up in the middle of my dream. Now I was awake still I had the feeling that I am being haunted by the questions. I knew at that time that this is not possible. Questions cannot come out and punch me, yet I was finding it very difficult to convince myself.

Last year it happened again and this time it was far more intense. I was in home for vacations. As usual, I had nothing to do in vacations and I spend most of my time watching TV. With n channels I was able to watch anything properly. After a week, I had this most weird dream. I personalized all the channels in my dream and they were talking, plotting against each other etc. This idea was so uncanny that I woke up. I still had the intense feeling that everything is going on. I was hearing a lot of noises and different sounds. I put on the light and started trolling in my room. I was trying hard to convince myself that is just a dream but the moment I even tried to close my eyes it used to start again. I was even thinking about that matrix dialogue at that time “have you ever been in state where you don’t know whether you are asleep or dreaming”. This was also painful at that time. Anything related to TV was driving me crazy. I wanted to wake up my mother; I wanted to have someone beside me to hold me in sanity. But then I thought I should not disturb anyone. One part of my brain was trying to be reasonable. Finally all this confusion resulted in puke and I poured cold water over my head and gradually the feeling subsided.

And it again happened last night. I was watching friends’ first season. I fell asleep in between. Suddenly my phone started ringing. I woke up. I saw the time. It was 11.30 pm. Who can call me at this hour? The number was also new. Till this everything was ok. I answered the call. Someone from the other side was asking me about Ishu? Actually it was Ishu’s dad call. He is my department. Now at this time confusion started. As I was watching the first season of friends and I have seen all the season of friends so it was something like that I was watching the history part. I think this was my source of confusion. One part of my brain started creating confusion that I am in my first year and I don’t know Ishu. I started thinking who is Ishu and from where he got my number. Even at this time I was talking on phone very sensibly, “no uncle he is not here”, “he must be in his room and I can go to his room so that you can talk to him”. I was speaking very slowly because of the conflict going on in my head. Gladly this time it was not intense as the other two and so I was able to convey the message.

Has anything like this has happened to you all people, when you know that something is not right still the wrong thing is so real that it is hard to convince yourself otherwise. I had many weird dreams like: playing football with a new strategy which involves the concept of E=mc*c; getting trapped in 2 D mirror; saving Michael Jackson in a cruise; flying a jet plane; reading newspaper in my home; joining the terrorist group, having an illusion in my dream; traveling through a country full of magic etc. But three times I had continued to dream even when I fully awake.

1st april

No you are not tricked. Just the font is white. select the text by dragging the mouse or select all using ctrl-A.

In my childhood, I always used to hear that there are more than 330 millions god and goddess in hindu mythology, so theory wise each and every day is some festival. But now I know more days than the festival dates, days like valentine’s day, father’s day, mother’s day, sorry day, friendship day, rose day, chocolate day, …. the list is too long. But the first such day which I came to know was April fool’s day. The day is marked by the commission of hoaxes and other practical jokes of varying sophistication on friends and neighbours. The origin of this custom has been much disputed, and many theories have been suggested, but what seems certain is that it is in some way or other a relic of those once universal festivities held at the vernal equinox, which, beginning on old New Year's day, the 25th of March, ended on the 1st of April.

I am indifferent from most of these days, mainly because I have no girl friend. And on first April everyone is so conscious that it is hard to play prank and I don’t like playing serious pranks. Anyway people get smarter and they start extending the fool’s day in order to have their fun. For e.g. some crazy people will send you their wedding cards in March and when you open them …. This year my department decided to give final year farewell on 1^st April. Department put up the notice in every halls of residence but people were confused that is this real or just some prank by some student.

Once I was returning with my friends after a long session of cricket, a girl called who knew me, called me. i forgot the exact date but it was 30 or 31 March. So I was not conscious, plus I had a crush on her. We talked for sometime [sometime for me… but she said she had to go as it was already one hour]. As she was leaving she gave me piece of folded paper. She told me to read it when she was gone. [ I swear I was not thinking anything… neither this nor that]. I just obeyed her… I still had one pic of her, want to see HER (click here)?

This year one of my friends was appearing for a job interview. He called at about 1 o clock that he got the job. Many of people rushed to meet and congratulate him in the hot … very hot summer afternoon. This one is sentimental call, no one can ignore it. People cursed him and after that he really got a job. This time he had hard time making people believe that after that he get huge bumps for both the reasons. Small pranks are spice of life, enjoy it, no matter on which side you are.

Market Buzz

New template. huh!!!

Last Sunday I went to market. I hardly go for shopping because I am too lazy. But market is always fun. Forget the new stuffs, lots of girl come there [unka to yahi favorite kaam hai], plus there are many interesting people there. “Thou shall listen”… and you will get to hear some unbelievable things. Here is some market buzz for you:

#A group of people (age grp 30-40) talking … (lets call them a b c d…)

A: “nitish jee ke ane se bhi koi fayada nahi hua. Power cut bahut jyada ho raha hai. Garmi ke kya hoga”.

B: (you can call him Mr know all….. why!! You will understand it soon). “nhi garmi me line itna nahi katega” (kyu bhai tumko kaise pata???) (btw line katna=power cut).

C: “chaliye fir thik hai…warna garmi me halat kharab ho jayega bhai”

B: “garmi bhi hum log hi badha rahe hai na”

D: “ha pradushan se”

B: “wooh sab to hai hi… aur ushke sath sath hum log rocket bhi itna chhor rahe hai” (now achanak se rocket ne kya kar dia!!)

A,C,D: (almost in similar tone) “kaise…. Usase kya hota hai” ( I was relieved to know that I am not the only person who was surprised )

B: (with a pleased look, he was expecting this) “dekhiye rocket jo jata hai na to ozone layer… naam to sune hai na ozone layer ka, ushme ched ho jata hai rocket se” (Ayeeinn!!!) “fir yeh ozone gas banana me bahut time lagta hai… aur us ched me se suraj ki ghatak keerne dharti pe pahuch jati hai… jisase aur tap paida ho jata hai” (tap=heat).

( great so suddenly manmade oraganohalogen compounds become totally innocent??).

D: (achanak se) “isiliye sunte hai amrika me ched bada hai”

B: “haan”

B: “waise baat nikli hai to hum ek aur baat batate hai aapko, aajkal suraj ki roshni se log jawan ho rahe hai. Shubah suraj ki roshni bahut achhi hoti hai.”

A: (interrupting) “ha yeh to hum bhi aaj news me dekh rahe the. Kuch log sun clud banaye….”

B: “are sun club nahi solar club jee”

C,D laughs. B joins them.

(I interrupt… here. I saw this news too . These media persons can do anything for making and selling news. It is true there is a solar club where people are watching sun in the morning and they claim this is giving them positive energy, but they are showing it with caption “ek admi jo 63 shal se khaye bina zinda hai”. Though nothing like this was there in the detailed report but they also know if the caption is flashy it sells. Lets go back to conversation)

B: “aur wooh admi 63 saal se khaye bina zinda hai” ( yes why not… he got chlorophyll in his blood).

C, D,A: “are yeh sab tv pe bolta hai… aisa kaise ho sakta hai …. To kal se solar panel ki jagah hum hi let jaate hai chat pe. Aisa nahi ho sakta aap hi sochiye” (they are right… kuchh to socho)

B: “are aap jante kya hai HUMAN ANATOMY & PHYSIOLOGY ke bare me” (wait… human anatomy. The person who thinks ozone layer me whole rocket ke karan is actually pronouncing these words. You should not underestimate anyone)

ACD “ka bole…”

B: “are manushya ke sareer ki sanranchna ko human anatomy kehte hai. Per paudha kaise suraj ki roshni se khana banata hai. Waise hi unka bhi kuchh hoga aur dekhiye abhyash se sab sambhav hai. Baba ramdev ko hi ab le lijiye (for you info, camp of baba ramdev was going in patna at that time). Unka 5 saal ki ayu me paralysis hua tha. Abhi poore bharat ko wooh swasthya ka raaj bata rahe hai… blah blah” (finally he convinced ACD).

One thing leading to other, finally they came to MISS INDIA COMPETITION. In this topic everyone was having the full knowledge.

A: “haa kal dekh rahe the” (good who won???)

C: “delhi hi koi larki thi” (good so you people don’t remember the name. dekhe hi bus kya?)

B: “Ab yeh sab dekhiye paschatya sabhyata ka nateeza hai aur yeh sab galat hai”

D: (almost at same time) “are karan johar bhi aya tha judge ban ke”

B: “are film walo ka yahi kaam hai… fardeen khan bhi tha” ( yahi baat hai… we know it is wrong still we all watch it…. no no I don’t think it is wrong.) “blah blah blah..”.

After this, there was some discussion on regular politics and mobile services (B had knowledge about everything). You will get many people like them. They are everywhere. They are respected in their group and they are entertaining. I would remember this person for quite sometime.

Ei8ht

[Tagged by her]
I have to write eight things i desire for my soulmate. According to me soulmates are are lovers who are twin souls or like a part of you—your other half. They are two people created for and with each other in mind. Unless they are together, they will always feel empty even in another relationship. Although women often discredit men by saying they only have one thing on their mind, but this fact is over-rated and over hyped.
Just for fact,there is an evolutionary theory which says that "Men are not as reliant on their mate as women are on men, so they may not be as strongly oriented as women to spending their entire lives with only one mate". The woman's desire to have one mate to help raise her children pressures males to be monogamous. If men do not want monogamy, they may end up with a lower quality of woman since the high quality women chose their mate based on his commitment to monogamy. So, follow the rule and then both men and women can be happy. Now the list:
I dersire her to be
*Honest with me.
*Beautiful and cute; attractive and athletic female figure. [she will definitely look beautiful to me.. majnu ko to bhaddi laila bhi sundar hi lagegi]
*Less weighty than me.
*Intelligent [my turn on]
*Tolreant to my stupid and crazy behavior and my continuous talking yet not saying anything. [tuff :D]
*Understand what i like and what i dont.
*Mine. [nhi bhi hui to chalega, "love is just for one time, one true time.."]
*Real, till now she is in my dreams only.

... "bus itni si hai dua.... main jyada nahi mangta" ;)

Tagging....[write if you want]
*Avinash
*Saurabh Kumar
*Samiran
*Megha
*Vini
*Saurabh
*Chitra
*Sandy

One day I was thinking about the changes taking place around us due to advancement in technology. Surely one can write at least 1 million pages on it. But for now it is hard for me to write a single page. Technology has changed our life style and likewise it has changed the lifestyle of bad guys [for this blog let us group all the thieves, mafia, don who earn money in unconventional dishonest way, into bad guys; purely technical].

Earliest of bad guys came with earliest of civilization, because before civilization there were no rules and laws and when there is no rule or law then no way is dishonest. So in earliest days bad guys were working alone. They used to wait for the right moment and by taking the advantage of darkness they used to strike. After some time innocent people became smart. Now they used to lock their doors and windows. Chances were reducing for our thief and life was getting tougher. To counter this bad guys group together and formed gangs. Their tools were also advancing but the new generation of bad guys had found another easy way of action. By sheer number they began looting people. Innocent people devised new some new things to cope up with this new situation. Police, private security, mercenaries came into existence and their role was becoming important. Moreover they started traveling and living in groups. Number which was the main weapon of bad guys was now in favour of common men. With growing power, the intention of police and mercenaries was also changing. New rules were made. Government, taxes etc came into existence. With new rules, one new thing was emerging and that was “black marketing”. The whole picture has changed now. Bad guys now have more money and more power than they ever had. Another big thing was that, now it was not just for money. It was more now… for money plus for power. Still we are in this phase. Mafia and other great underworld dons have kept their big group united by oaths, religion, loyalty etc and they are having a good time. They are politically connected too. I am again deviating from the main topic. But it will soon see its downfall. Sooner or later this bubble will break. Technology has also advanced so much that it is going tough to keep monitoring the huge network without being detected. It will burst from inside pressure. Next generation thieves will be the one who have out mastered the advancement in technology. All transaction will be done electronically in near future. The one who can find the loop holes or hack this system can collect more money by working alone and he will work alone. Another dimension will be added to it. Now after money and power people will start doing just to prove themselves. To challenge their wits, to satisfy their intellectual lust. They started working alone and as far I can see they will again work alone. Is this the great circle of time? The advantage of anything soon becomes its limitation. Probably this is the course of development.

Being a student of manufacturing science I cannot help considering the resemblance between this and the industrial development. First people used to work in small groups for producing something. Then they group together to increase their production and add variety. Then mass production started and variety was lost. Now again things are changing. The new trend is of customization, personal customization. This has led to smaller companies which are agile in nature to again come to the lime light. Another circle….almost similar four stages.

second Blog:for those who are interested in reading dreams.. read this -> Cutest nightmare

Race!!!!

This question is being raised from the ancient times and will be raised till the end of the times ….because this is question which can be best answered at the end or after the end. The Question is “What is the most important thing in the life?”. Some say it is love, some say it is money, for some it is desire and for some it is happiness, some go with power and some advocates for pleasure and the most common answer would be mixture of all these. Apparently feelings like patience, fear, pain does not come in the solution set, but who knows. Even the God was not sure about this. In order to put an end to this, HE devised plan. A race was called, in which all the feelings and things were allowed to compete. The winner will settle this question forever. Now we all know, we are not even certain about what we want, so it was decided that whether conscious or unconscious, all human desires will power these feeling. The one getting more power will speed more and thus will win the race. Now this is what happened on the big day.

I was sitting in the front row. Love, Anger, Money, Pleasure, Pain, Lust, Happiness, Power, Popularity etc all were there in best of their outfits. Each connected themselves with the cordless power cord. The crowd was cheering for their favorites, if they have any. Some, confused people like me were just shouting aimlessly. They all will get power according to our true desires. With a bang the race began. Like a 100m run it looks like a tight race. It was hard to say who was leading and people were just screaming. Patience was loosing but amazingly pain was not so behind [God knows what really we want]. But definitely in the leading row there were Love, Money, and Popularity. In order to remove ambiguity about the rash decisions this was decided that it will be a lapped race. Everyone was talking that after the race the mystery would be solved. The race was now drawing to an end, still no clear winner. People were dashing each other, making room for themselves in order to have a clear view. At this moment I realized actually one was leading the race. It was someone whom I hadn’t seen till then. It was Acceptance. He was going to cross the finishing line and … and he did it. He won. He had a clear lead. It was amazing. I ran for him, but people were still shouting for their favorites. I said to the person standing next to me “but the race is over”. He said “no! It is not”. He was not even aware of it. Not only him, it seem neither participants nor the audience had noticed it. Acceptance was looking indifferent as he knew it always, I was surprised in all ways and the God was smiling.

Think......

I read many quotes because i like to think over them and also to find good status messages...
But this one is long and i like this one very much. Think......

"There are two kind of people in this world; responsible and other irresponsible. Responsible people tries to adopt themselves according to this world, while irresponsible people tries to adapt the world according to them. So all developement depends on irresponsible people."

-G.B. Shaw

Happy New Year 2006

Here is another End and a New beginning. Wishing You All A very Happy New Year 2006. I am starting a new blog today.

Dreams

Two stories

I like reading short stories especially folk tales, because of many reasons like

* They have some history and some cultural relevance

*Second and more important, they are not long.

Some of the greatest short stories are not given by master writers but actually they are folk tales. I am going to write two of them [I want to share with you all] from my memory. One is Persian folk tale and other one is Chinese. I hope you all will like these two. If you didn’t it will be fault of my writing.

Long time ago, in a small village of Persia, one man used to live with his servant. One day servant came running from the market. When his master asked him the reason, he replied that in market place he saw death and death was looking towards him with scary eyes. He then begged his master to lend him his fastest horse so that he could go to Baghdad and hide there for a few days. His master granted him permission. After his servant was gone he went to market to buy the ration. There he saw death again. He asked death angrily why he scared his servant. Death replied innocently “I did not mean to scare him. I was just surprised to see him here, because I have an appointment with him in Baghdad in the evening. So I was surprised.”

Second one-> Chinese folk tale. I like this one because this one is romantic and I like romantic stories.

During Chin dynasty when China was growing as an empire, the emperors were worried about the protection of the frontiers from foreigners. So they started building a wall [The Great Wall of China]. Peasants and soldiers were forced to make the walls. Walls were made by ramming. Though walls thus made were weaker than the concrete walls they can be made much faster. The peasants from the frontier villages were forced to work. Sometime around this time, in some frontier village, there lived a newly wed couple. Both used to love each other very much. This man also went to frontiers to make the Wall. There he died due to overwork. The captain of that platoon was a cruel man. He ordered his body to be rammed in the wall itself with the soil. After some time anxious wife came to the work station in search of his husband. Everybody knew that she love her husband very much. Just by thinking how heart breaking it would be for her, nobody dared to tell her the truth. They just said that he was not working with them; ask at the next work station. At the next work station, she got the same reply. Her tale always preceded her and she was getting the same reply at all the workstations. Everyone thought that someday she would get tired and return home. But she kept on walking continuously. She walked about 100 miles along the wall. Her tale was getting famous. Then at someplace when she asked someone, he mocked her back that your feeble husband was dead and his dead body was rammed in these walls. It is said that after listening this news, she neither screamed nor cried. Only one drop of tear fell from her eyes out of love passion and anger and this drop created a big hole in the “Great Wall”. She turned around, walked a few steps and then she fell on the ground, dead. The place she died now stands a temple on her name and women come there and pray for long life of their husbands. And the hole is still there.

Tagged

I’ve been tagged by Raja to write se7en things about these

SE7EN Things I Plan To Do [in next 25 days]:

1. Gain Weight.
2. Study something for placement.
3. Play nfs most wanted.
4. Watch a lot of movies and serials.
5. Run 2.2 km every evening.
6. Write at least 10 blogs.
7. Plan the resolutions for next year.

SE7EN Things I Can Do:

1. I can play a lot of games.
2. I can listen to introvert persons for hours.
3. I can understand others.
4. I can do one thing for hours [ esp watching movies, serial, playing games and obviously talk]
5. I can surprise you.
6. I can remember my dreams [not all but many].
7. I can make good plans.

SE7EN Things I Can’t Do:

1. Propose a girl
2. Act smart or responsible in crowd
3. Read newspaper daily
4. Stop giving funda to others.
5. Stop caring about others. J
6. Remember hard facts [data which make no sense to me] only.
7. Study religiously

SE7EN Things I Say Most Often [difficult]:

1. Sahi hai
2. Yes I understand
3. Dekhte hai
4. Ho jayega
5. Kal karte hai
6. Tum nahi samjhoge
7. Thnx

* U can say better in this category

SE7EN Persons I Want To Tag

1. Avinash [start blogging]
2. Shahid [start blogging ]
3. Chandu [ -same- ]
4. Samiran
5. Chitrangda
6. Athena
7. Yashu

Again A Dream!!!!

Before going to bed on Thursday, I watched many movies in part. This dream is not very weird, rather normal type of a dream; still I want to write about it. Based on what [as much] I was able to recall in the morning. Main characters of this dream are my friends [my hall mates].

It began like this. I was getting a new house near my college hostel. Construction work was still going on. But there was a function of new house ceremony [supposed to be mine but I was not doing anything]. The location seems to be good for making a Hollywood thriller. Well, now the main story. It was dark and I was just observing the unfinished building from my hostel corridor and was thinking what more could be done. Suddenly I saw some movements in the dark, inside the building. I hasten to the building. I overheard something. Voices seemed to be familiar but tone was low and I was not able to hear them properly. I recognized one of them. It was of Srinivas. When I get inside the room, it was totally empty. I looked around but no one was there. I returned to my hostel and I asked Srinivas about this. He denied immediately but somehow I was sure that he was lying. Following night I again saw some movement there. By this time I was ready to play sleuth. When I reached there, it was different than the last time. It was noisier and I saw some ninjas were fighting with Srinivas and were probably trying to kill him. I rushed in and the little deviation of ninjas’ attention was enough for that man to get away. I too tried to clear myself and there was some action and adventure. I was not trying to fight [weird thing …in my dream at least, I can kick some ninjas], instead I was running and trying to hide. After much trouble [jumps, some diving, some hitting, and some kunai and shurikens (weapons used by ninjas)] I was able to escape and returned to my room. Now I asked Srinivas again what was going on but again he refused to tell me anything. But I found a small parcel in his room. I quietly tucked it in my sweater. When I was coming out of the room I met Ishu. I told him that something fishy is going on with Srinivas. Suddenly all ninjas reappeared and started chasing us. This time I (fortunately..) was quipped with bow and arrow. We somehow managed to get out the hostel and get into the car. I was on wheel and as I am a good driver [have played many car racing games], I was confident. Meanwhile Ishu was also doing well with bow and arrow. Ninjas were well trained and they were dogging us with cars and bikes. After a hot pursuit we came to seashore. I had planned this already. I passed the parcel to Ishu and told him to take the boat and get into the waiting sea helicopter. I was giving him the cover. I was able to unmask one of ninjas in combat. I was surprised to find Malpani in ninja’s dress. Then I asked him what is going on. But other ninjas were back and he got away into a boat and started chasing Ishu. I tried hard to stop him but I was clearly outnumbered. I was relieved to see that by this time Ishu was in the helicopter and Malpani has to cover some distance to reach that point. But helicopter was taking off. I guess Ishu was not sure how to fly a helicopter[common everyone know how to fly a helicopter]. The distance between Malpani and Ishu was decreasing. Suddenly the blades started rotating and just when helicopter was going to leave the water surface, Malpani dived in the water. He was really close by this time and when helicopter was in air, Malpani was hanging with it. Then there was some fighting in the helicopter and helicopter was swinging wildly in air. Just before it was going to crash, Ishu and Malpani both jumped out of it. Now the ninjas rushed to that spot and rescued both. Malpani is our junior and so I told him to explain the situation. After some resistance he finally agreed to tell us everything. By this time I remembered today is my new house’s ceremony. I requested everyone to come along with me. I reached there and first thing I did was that I was looking for the food counter. I was now sure that secret would be revealed to me in a few moments. But one thing I completely forgot, one thing which can alter the whole situation and that was alarm. It was eight 8 am and I got a class at 8.30 am.

In most of my dreams, when I am not able to make up a good ending, I just turn it in another direction. Like in this one what could be such a secret of some undergraduate students which will need involvement of ninjas. I guess I was not imaginative enough so I deviated my dream to food and function. Well this was full of action type dream, with only little story.

Diwali @IITKGP **** rangoli pics****

Rangoli @Patel Hall

Rangoli @Nehru Hall

Rangoli 3

Rangoli @RK Hall

Rangoli 5

Rangoli @ LLR Hall

Diwali @IITKGP **** illumination pics****

HI friends...

I m sure u people have fun in this diwali in ur own style. But here in kgp diwali is bit different than other places...Have a look.....

Illumination @ LLR-Hall

Illumination-2

Illuminatio 3

Illumination 4

Illumination -6

Illumination @RK - Hall

Choice.....

This is my gift; this is my curse; it’s my destiny. Who I am? No I am not Spiderman. But seriously, what makes one what he or she is? Is it destiny or choices we make. I think a person is resultant of consequences of all choices he/she made in her life. Even the smallest of our decisions can affect us in strangest way. Sometime we realize it and most of the time we don’t. But it keeps molding our lives. We are rewarded or punished accordingly. So twins are not alike; even the clones who share the same genetic code will be different from each other. Everyone must have watched “The Matrix”. In that movie one thing which was most stressed was choice and its affect. Whether to take red pill or blue one….whether to take left door or the right one…whether to believe Neo is the one or not. We take small decisions everyday. When we have to make big decision we think over it and we remember it. My life is affected more by small decisions than big ones. I can remember at least 4 of them and I am going to say about 2 of them…the 2 good ones.

When I was in class 4, I met one boy (my father’s friend’s son). We played football and talked whole day and in one day only he became my good friend. I was looking to meet him again. I came to know that he goes to a coaching centre. I told my parents that I will also go to that coaching centre. My parents were happy because this was probably first time I was showing some interest in studies (till now they tell me sometime that you showed some interest in your academics only once). But all I want to spend more time with my friend, academics was not even in my back of my head. This led me finally to a residential school in Calcutta and this changed and affected my life more than I can imagine or understand. Similarly after many years, when I was counseling for iit, we were told to fill one preference form (for allocation of seats in different iits and bhu and ism dhanbad). I filled my preference sheet and submitted it to a guy who was feeding the data in his computer. He told me after sometime that I had made one mistake. I had filled the same option at no 12 and no 63. Now I had to remove one option. The whole thing was taking a lot of time and I was becoming restless. I told him remove anyone (I was thinking…does that matter). But he knew that it matters. He said “No you should think over it and better consult your guardians too”. At that time I knew nothing about computer and its applications. I told him to remove the 63^rd option. I was thinking that it would be easier for him to remove the 63^rd option. I was unable to grasp the seriousness of the situation. I will be placed somewhere according to my preference list, this thing did not come into my mind. Anyway, I got the 12^th option and if I would have asked that person to change my 12^th option I would have been an engineer by now from IT-BHU. I would never be an IITIAN then (I don’t know whether it is good or bad). But certainly things would have been very different. I made one decision. I thought about the comfort of the person who was filling the data into the computer at the time of counseling. I was not looking at the bigger picture at that time. These two decisions were not made by thinking even little of the consequences they lead to, but were made spontaneously considering totally different thing. And these two events are the one of the biggest events in my life. They made me what I am now. How different I would have been… no one can say. But some says it doesn’t matter. You will become what you really are… somehow finally. I don’t believe this one. They say its destiny that drives us. Then what they really want to say is that we don’t make choices, rather choices choose US. They drives us, motivates us somehow so that we choose them. I don’t agree with that notion, but I fear sometime it might be true. You choose for yourselves which category you belong to. And I am sure there must be some events like these in your lives too. I know most of you take big things more seriously than I do. But sometime I am just too scared when I get some options and I had to choose something.

Jara hat ke -2 :Nature or Human

I like watching Sci-fi movies and sometime they are thought provoking. Artificial intelligence is much verbalized topic nowadays in any Sci-fi movie and in “technological high society”. Ultimate aim of scientists and technologist is to make a complex and intelligent system such as us (human beings). How much time it will take is just an estimate. Anyway, robot companies are try to make robots that will be able to challenge the football world champions and for this they are setting a target of 2050 A.D. Kinematics and dynamics of robots (especially legged robot) is very complex in nature and so this target if achieved will be milestone in development of automated system. But here I want to talk about Artificial Humanoid.

 Some day robots will be as intelligent as human beings. Some of the recent developments like blind man driving a car, cloning etc assure us that someday it will be possible. Some day human will be able to create life and intelligent systems. But still there are many things which show how inefficient we are. Human eye lens (one) can act as both concave and convex lens. Humans are still to manufacture that kind of lens and it is just a simple lens. Human body is full of such miracles. Does that prove that nature is better creator than us?

Many of us think that man will never be able to compete with nature. For those people I have some stats. Life first appeared on earth about 3.6 billion years ago and first man appeared on earth not more than 500,000 years ago. That means nature took around 3.6 billions years to create and perfect complex system like human beings. Human have just started. Give them a fair chance and I am sure they will be able to make much better specimen in much shorter period of time. The main problem is artificial intelligence. We can think about abstract things, even we don’t have any prior information about it. Like if I force someone to describe what is SWEGMA@#235 and where it is, he will be able to tell me something about it. He might be wrong but this is something which robots and even super computers will not be able to do. But someday man will bestow this power to machines and then what will be its consequences. Will man will be able to control his ultimate creation or the history will be repeated once again. Nature gave power of intelligence to man and lost control of it. Will the same thing be repeated once again in future? Well, some other time….

Illusion in a dream

Now this happened last Tuesday. I had a test that day from 7.30 am. I tried to read in the night but I was not able to concentrate. So I decided to sleep at that time (2 am) and I thought I will read in the morning. I set an alarm of 5.20 am. Next thing which happened to me in the morning was, I woke up with the screaming noise of the alarm. I rubbed my eyes and tried to see the time on the clock which was at that time 3 meters away from me. It seemed to me like 7 am. I pressed the spacebar (to stop the alarm) and rushed to bathroom with my brush and paste. I was a little frustrated with myself as now I won’t be able to study and also the fact that I got up late because I was having a nice dream. The day was cooler and after brushing when I returned, I again saw the time. It was 6 am only. I felt better now as I had atleast 1 hour to study (something atleast!!). Now I started thinking about my dream. It was a very nice and a very very weird dream… and I was doubtful that whether I will be able to remember it till 11.30 am. So I decided to write about my dream in brief first. Lolz!! And I wrote about my dream till 6.25 am and then only I started studying for my test. Now don’t ask me about that test but here is the dream. :p This all happened in my dream.

I was sitting in my room. The room was bigger than the rooms we have in iit. There were 3 other people in the room. My friend (I don’t know which one) and a noisy couple (I don’t know what the hell they were doing in my room). Room set-up was like a small common room with only difference that I had my bed in the room in the corner. Now you all know in dreams location changes very arbitrarily. So don’t mind the minor changes which will happen now n then. The boy (couple) was trying to impress his gf by his foolish tales and the girl seemed to be totally impressed and lost in his eyes. The boy told her that he could stop the fan (at full speed) with his bare hands. And the girl's expression was like “WOW”. Irritated by his cheeto-chat, I challenged the boy to prove his words. Now the boy’s expression changed….and he gave me a totally frigid look and ignored me. But I insisted and this lead to an argument and since that was my room I made them to leave my room. I also threatened him that I will complain to DOSA that he is meeting with his gf in my room. At this time, one tall girl, well-dressed entered the room. She was beautiful and she was wearing black jeans and yellow stripped color top(probably, you can never be sure about the colors in your dreams). Her face looked familiar to me and I tried to recall who she was. She was drunk and she looked completely tired. She came and sat down on my bed as the only two chairs were occupied by us. After some deep thinking I was able to recollect who she was. She used to live near our hostel and during my first year’s summer vacation, I came to know her. She used to play with the small kids in the garden of our hostel. We sometimes used to have small conversations. (Nothing like this ever happened in reality and I stayed full time at home during my first year summer vacation). So this whole story was made up in my dream. I then realized that there could be flashback scenes in dreams too. Whatever!, back then that girl tried a suicide attempt (I don’t know the reason and certainly I was not the reason…!!!:P) and so her parents sent her to some other place so that she felt better. Flash back ends here. Now she was totally drunk and was not able to answer. I asked her many times, why she was here but she only mumbled in reply which was not understandable. It was dark outside so I decided to let her sleep there only and decided to question her the dayafter about the whys hows and whats. I had difficulty in recalling who she was…but she seemed to remember me. Anyway at this moment we heard some noises outside and my friend (yes, my friend was still in the room ;)) went outside to have a look. He entered immediately and looked scared. He then told me that DOSA was checking every room ( no he was not looking for that girl, it was just a sudden inspection, my bad luck!). Now we both were scared. If DOSA happened to check my room and if he saw some drunk girl in my room u all know what would happen. (Yeah ! for nonkgpians DOSA= Dean of student affairs). I started praying that somehow DOSA misses our wing. But my friend who had returned with more news told me that he was checking each and every room and there were a lot of professors with him. I shook that girl but she was in deep sleep. Hurriedly I picked her and was going to take her outside the room without thinking anything. My friend screamed what was I doing and I realized yes I couldn’t leave her outside. I put her back on the bed but I was totally freaked out. I started thinking about the alternatives. I thought that I will put lock on door and will stay inside. But this inspection was a serious one and this was not going to help. I then thought that I will put the girl in the balcony (we had a very small balcony in our rooms). Yes at this time my dream’s room has shrunk back to the actual size of my real room. But then my friend told me what if they checked the balcony too. Then I thought that I will put that girl under my bed but still it wasn't a very good idea. Then I thought of a better plan. I let her sleep on my bed but pushed her to the extreme side of it. Then I put some matching colored cloths and bed sheets over her. The girl was slim and just by hiding her feet and hands and head she resembled totally like a pile of clothes. After sometime DOSA knocked the door and the door was opened so he entered. I was acting that I was watching a movie on the computer with my friend. There were 2 other proffs. They walked through the whole length of my room and peeked in to the balcony. Meanwhile DOSA was talking gently with us. He was telling us this was a routine inspection and told me son that your room is a total mess…webs on walls, clothes on bed, tooth brush on the UPS..etc etc. I somehow faked a smile. He left my room and I sighed in relief and thanked god that we are saved. Phew!!. Now it was late. My friend told me that he was leaving and he left. I started thinking, what I should do next. Whether I should stay awake and watch movies and .... her, sleeping the whole night or should I just go and sleep on the other side. In this dual state of mind I came out of my room. There were a lot of people out in the corridor. There was confusion among all about this sudden inspection. One fat man was fighting with an elderly woman (probably his wife). By seeing all this I was totally confused. I began to think that I don’t know any people around here and married people (fat man and the elderly lady) could not stay in my hostel. It was not logical at all. And then I started thinking I had been living in this hostel for 4 years and never ever this kind of inspection occurred. It seemed all illogical to me. I tried to clear my mind and then I realized that …OH!! All these people and this inspection was an illusion and when I thought of this…everyone started to disappear (old and elderly woman too). I gave a big sigh and now I was convinced that no such inspection had occurred in the first place so I was totally safe. At this time, I was returning to my room, thinking about that girl and whether I should sleep or not. Suddenly, this thought clashed with my logic. I started thinking if the inspection and all these people were an illusion then it was possible that this girl was also an illusion because why would a “drunk girl” whom I didn’t know well should take refuge in my room. At this moment I was at my door and then I entered the room only to see my bed empty. I just laughed at myself. Now it was late and since there was no girl in the bed so I went to my bed to sleep (now there was no confusion). Slowly I was falling asleep and I was thinking what this illusion was. From some remote place I was able to hear a low screaming noise.

This dream looked totally real to me when I was experiencing it. So I wrote this in detail….isiliye thoda lamba ho gaya. I will restrain myself from making longer posts in future