Tuesday, April 11, 2006


There is an old saying: Everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time. And yesterday it happened for the third time. It forced me to write this blog. This is kind of dream-hangover. It is a state where I can not decide whether I am dreaming or I am awake, the phase were all my senses work, my mind works, yet there is so much confusion. It seem to me like my brain is divided into two parts, one trying to create the confusion by building up stories and other part trying to make things logical and reasonable.

First time, it happened, when I was in class 9. Our board starts from class 9. So most of my friends have utilised their year break and have done some advanced studies. On the other hand I was not even aware of this fact that class 9 portions would also be there in board exams. In hostel, suddenly everyone was talking about the studies and board exams (naya naya josh tha…logo ka). I was not able to understand a thing in class or even what my friends used to talk. This had a deep impact on me. No I didn’t start studying hard, I started to have nightmares. I had nightmares like I am sitting in examination room, and I am unable to answer a single question. After some nights it became worse. I used to see that questions are coming out of question papers and kicking me punching me, answer script mocking me. I had similar dreams for about 4 5 days, and then one day I wake up in the middle of my dream. Now I was awake still I had the feeling that I am being haunted by the questions. I knew at that time that this is not possible. Questions cannot come out and punch me, yet I was finding it very difficult to convince myself.

Last year it happened again and this time it was far more intense. I was in home for vacations. As usual, I had nothing to do in vacations and I spend most of my time watching TV. With n channels I was able to watch anything properly. After a week, I had this most weird dream. I personalized all the channels in my dream and they were talking, plotting against each other etc. This idea was so uncanny that I woke up. I still had the intense feeling that everything is going on. I was hearing a lot of noises and different sounds. I put on the light and started trolling in my room. I was trying hard to convince myself that is just a dream but the moment I even tried to close my eyes it used to start again. I was even thinking about that matrix dialogue at that time “have you ever been in state where you don’t know whether you are asleep or dreaming”. This was also painful at that time. Anything related to TV was driving me crazy. I wanted to wake up my mother; I wanted to have someone beside me to hold me in sanity. But then I thought I should not disturb anyone. One part of my brain was trying to be reasonable. Finally all this confusion resulted in puke and I poured cold water over my head and gradually the feeling subsided.

And it again happened last night. I was watching friends’ first season. I fell asleep in between. Suddenly my phone started ringing. I woke up. I saw the time. It was 11.30 pm. Who can call me at this hour? The number was also new. Till this everything was ok. I answered the call. Someone from the other side was asking me about Ishu? Actually it was Ishu’s dad call. He is my department. Now at this time confusion started. As I was watching the first season of friends and I have seen all the season of friends so it was something like that I was watching the history part. I think this was my source of confusion. One part of my brain started creating confusion that I am in my first year and I don’t know Ishu. I started thinking who is Ishu and from where he got my number. Even at this time I was talking on phone very sensibly, “no uncle he is not here”, “he must be in his room and I can go to his room so that you can talk to him”. I was speaking very slowly because of the conflict going on in my head. Gladly this time it was not intense as the other two and so I was able to convey the message.

Has anything like this has happened to you all people, when you know that something is not right still the wrong thing is so real that it is hard to convince yourself otherwise. I had many weird dreams like: playing football with a new strategy which involves the concept of E=mc*c; getting trapped in 2 D mirror; saving Michael Jackson in a cruise; flying a jet plane; reading newspaper in my home; joining the terrorist group, having an illusion in my dream; traveling through a country full of magic etc. But three times I had continued to dream even when I fully awake.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

1st april

No you are not tricked. Just the font is white. select the text by dragging the mouse or select all using ctrl-A.

In my childhood, I always used to hear that there are more than 330 millions god and goddess in hindu mythology, so theory wise each and every day is some festival. But now I know more days than the festival dates, days like valentine’s day, father’s day, mother’s day, sorry day, friendship day, rose day, chocolate day, …. the list is too long. But the first such day which I came to know was April fool’s day. The day is marked by the commission of hoaxes and other practical jokes of varying sophistication on friends and neighbours. The origin of this custom has been much disputed, and many theories have been suggested, but what seems certain is that it is in some way or other a relic of those once universal festivities held at the vernal equinox, which, beginning on old New Year's day, the 25th of March, ended on the 1st of April.

I am indifferent from most of these days, mainly because I have no girl friend. And on first April everyone is so conscious that it is hard to play prank and I don’t like playing serious pranks. Anyway people get smarter and they start extending the fool’s day in order to have their fun. For e.g. some crazy people will send you their wedding cards in March and when you open them …. This year my department decided to give final year farewell on 1st April. Department put up the notice in every halls of residence but people were confused that is this real or just some prank by some student.

Once I was returning with my friends after a long session of cricket, a girl called who knew me, called me. i forgot the exact date but it was 30 or 31 March. So I was not conscious, plus I had a crush on her. We talked for sometime [sometime for me… but she said she had to go as it was already one hour]. As she was leaving she gave me piece of folded paper. She told me to read it when she was gone. [ I swear I was not thinking anything… neither this nor that]. I just obeyed her… I still had one pic of her, want to see HER (click here)?

This year one of my friends was appearing for a job interview. He called at about 1 o clock that he got the job. Many of people rushed to meet and congratulate him in the hot … very hot summer afternoon. This one is sentimental call, no one can ignore it. People cursed him and after that he really got a job. This time he had hard time making people believe that after that he get huge bumps for both the reasons. Small pranks are spice of life, enjoy it, no matter on which side you are.