Tuesday, April 11, 2006


There is an old saying: Everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time. And yesterday it happened for the third time. It forced me to write this blog. This is kind of dream-hangover. It is a state where I can not decide whether I am dreaming or I am awake, the phase were all my senses work, my mind works, yet there is so much confusion. It seem to me like my brain is divided into two parts, one trying to create the confusion by building up stories and other part trying to make things logical and reasonable.

First time, it happened, when I was in class 9. Our board starts from class 9. So most of my friends have utilised their year break and have done some advanced studies. On the other hand I was not even aware of this fact that class 9 portions would also be there in board exams. In hostel, suddenly everyone was talking about the studies and board exams (naya naya josh tha…logo ka). I was not able to understand a thing in class or even what my friends used to talk. This had a deep impact on me. No I didn’t start studying hard, I started to have nightmares. I had nightmares like I am sitting in examination room, and I am unable to answer a single question. After some nights it became worse. I used to see that questions are coming out of question papers and kicking me punching me, answer script mocking me. I had similar dreams for about 4 5 days, and then one day I wake up in the middle of my dream. Now I was awake still I had the feeling that I am being haunted by the questions. I knew at that time that this is not possible. Questions cannot come out and punch me, yet I was finding it very difficult to convince myself.

Last year it happened again and this time it was far more intense. I was in home for vacations. As usual, I had nothing to do in vacations and I spend most of my time watching TV. With n channels I was able to watch anything properly. After a week, I had this most weird dream. I personalized all the channels in my dream and they were talking, plotting against each other etc. This idea was so uncanny that I woke up. I still had the intense feeling that everything is going on. I was hearing a lot of noises and different sounds. I put on the light and started trolling in my room. I was trying hard to convince myself that is just a dream but the moment I even tried to close my eyes it used to start again. I was even thinking about that matrix dialogue at that time “have you ever been in state where you don’t know whether you are asleep or dreaming”. This was also painful at that time. Anything related to TV was driving me crazy. I wanted to wake up my mother; I wanted to have someone beside me to hold me in sanity. But then I thought I should not disturb anyone. One part of my brain was trying to be reasonable. Finally all this confusion resulted in puke and I poured cold water over my head and gradually the feeling subsided.

And it again happened last night. I was watching friends’ first season. I fell asleep in between. Suddenly my phone started ringing. I woke up. I saw the time. It was 11.30 pm. Who can call me at this hour? The number was also new. Till this everything was ok. I answered the call. Someone from the other side was asking me about Ishu? Actually it was Ishu’s dad call. He is my department. Now at this time confusion started. As I was watching the first season of friends and I have seen all the season of friends so it was something like that I was watching the history part. I think this was my source of confusion. One part of my brain started creating confusion that I am in my first year and I don’t know Ishu. I started thinking who is Ishu and from where he got my number. Even at this time I was talking on phone very sensibly, “no uncle he is not here”, “he must be in his room and I can go to his room so that you can talk to him”. I was speaking very slowly because of the conflict going on in my head. Gladly this time it was not intense as the other two and so I was able to convey the message.

Has anything like this has happened to you all people, when you know that something is not right still the wrong thing is so real that it is hard to convince yourself otherwise. I had many weird dreams like: playing football with a new strategy which involves the concept of E=mc*c; getting trapped in 2 D mirror; saving Michael Jackson in a cruise; flying a jet plane; reading newspaper in my home; joining the terrorist group, having an illusion in my dream; traveling through a country full of magic etc. But three times I had continued to dream even when I fully awake.


sonik said...

Whoa! This post has been so nicely written that I had to recheck to be sure its you [:P]. Either you have improved greatly, or you've put a lot of thought to the topic, before putting them to words so coherently and clearly.

And coming to the actual topic, firstly, what's the meaning of "katzenjammer"? And I must admit that I've never seen so great a dreamer like you.

I too have dreamt some really weird things, and two particular dreams have actually shaken me to the core ( one of them proved to be a sort of premonition), but I've never actually been in a state like you've depicted. That too thrice!! Guess even that's a gift of sorts.

Once again Congrats! With coming up with such an interesting composition.

saurabh said...

Great post..
Well.. I have seen weird things in my life.. sometimes i was also very confused about whats happening around me.. but those situations were different in the sense that i was never sure that some of these events are impossible.. so urs case is entirely different..
I feel it depends on the thinking ability and creativity of a person..I have read several novels where good writers reported the similar experiences.. I see urself as a potential good writer..just follow your heart and keep writing

in a state of katzenjammer...

Athena said...

awesome post :)))

mujhe bhi kaafi weird dreams aate hain.. and many of the time its as if i m almost choked to death by such dreams.... i thnk its the other side of human mind..

and i have noticed many a times such nightmares come whn i m totally disturbed or not in a good mood coz of all the happenings in tht particular day..

mask said...

abe itna sona band kar...bahut sota hai tu

Curious said...

what is katzenjammer??...and reg ur post...just wanted to share a funny dream that i had recently ...well, since i am in U.S and i often get starved of eating home made food...i travel all the way to india and eat food off my moms hand...i actually wake up feeling so full...i even burp and sometimes from nowhere i start smelling idli sambar or other food which we dont get here even in indian restaurants!:)
nice post.

Voice said...

Disagreeable aftereffects (hangover)
confused due to noise from many sources.

itni unsure :P. the second one is not true as this post was most random one. so it has to b the first one. :D
i too wud never like to be in that state.

i dont like these cases. sach much us samay pata hi nahi chalta kya ho rahahai.
keep reading.. i will keep writing :)

to mood thik rakha karo... warna kisi yeh nightmares tumhari jaan sach much me lenge.

:D:D.i think so.

even burp and smell..thats amazing :).

Megha said...

wht shd i say
its awesome post:))))))

but asa dream aate hi kyu hain

Avinash singh said...

Well i wasn't sure i understood the meaning of katzenjammer from ur comment so i had to dwnload wordweb.. format:)

first ques how the hell did u find this word?? from synonyms of hangover or wat??

I have nvr had such dreams which have shaken me up.. u c i have a lot of ctrl over my dreams unlike the rest.. because i am kamina to the core so my mind thinks like me..

but in ur case.. that puke portion intrigued me.. aage se koi ocha ho to mere ko phone kar dena i will clear out ur confusion anytime. :)lolz

dumka said...

hi i also didnt understand katzenjammer, aakhir chuha ka hi dost hoon na..... blog bahut achha tha... nice literature also...
though i havent dreamt like this, but i have felt the same situation, when u dont know when u r sleeping or dreaming....
keep it up buddy

Anonymous said...

i told u naa after first few lines.. its gr8..see even people ve responded in same way... bad timin.. it was 2 good to giv me sleep.. n even i used to get these kinda dreams..like a Z tv soap schedule.. the most weird was .. i m tryin to save a girl from bein raped by coverin her with MADRASI STYLE VESHTI(LUNGI)..which i wonder how i m wearin in d dream...well..may b thats hy its wierd

suru said...

told u naa after first few lines.. its gr8..see even people ve responded in same way... bad timin.. it was 2 good to giv me sleep.. n even i used to get these kinda dreams..like a Z tv soap schedule.. the most weird was .. i m tryin to save a girl from bein raped by coverin her with MADRASI STYLE VESHTI(LUNGI)..which i wonder how i m wearin in d dream...well..may b thats hy its wierd

samiranghosh said...

Well Well.. These are the symptoms of too much of daydreaming and playing computer games. Bhav, I'm stunned by your vivid description of your dream and that too relating with Matrix state. After reading your blog twice i could make out, initially i was too confused. I think you are spreading the Dream Machine Syndrom to your readers too.
But Truely you are good in penning down your imaginations.

Carry on.

samiranghosh said...

BTW what is katzenjammer. Never heard of anything similar to that.

Voice said...

mujhe kya pata

yes u r rite :D. i cannot control my dreams and i wud never want to control them either. suspense part is my fav part. but i can control many more things :P.
are tu samajh nahi raha hai us samay ksi ke samjhane ka khak asar hota jab main janta hu that thought is soo weird and yet mera deemag ushko sahi maan raha tha. waise itna jabardast jhatka baar bar nahi lagta :D

tumse achha to nahi ho sakta yaar.
thnx :). ha yaar bus main hi ek namuna thode hi hu... sabhi ke sath wahi hota hoga na jo mere sath hota hai :D

sahi madrasi kudi pata raha hai apna desi chhora :D
after few lines age bhi padha tha :P. haa yaar aise nightmare ke bare me padh ke neend kaise aa sakti hai

believe me no day dreaming and no comp games involved. tv yes..definitely. after seeing all these dreams i can think of only sci fi movies. thnx yaar.. for ur encouragement

Chitrangada said...

Hey again a beautiful blend of reality n dreams ..

i think u dream alot n sometime u just wish them to come true ..
n in ur mind u always try to connect ur dream with the things arnd u ..n then all these things result this ..where u don know where dream ends n where reality starts ...

n its not unnatural ..
it happen to me also ..:)
but i must say u r master of fiction :)

bp said...

good post...

niv said...

gosh..soundz drastic!
lekin i cn undertsnad what ur getting at..sometimes when one getz up in a hurry..its like you dont know whats happenin esp if uv been havin a particularly vivid dream:)

Sarry said...

This blog does relate to ur dreams then why din u post this in dreams wala blog..

Boss i think you are going beyond the obvious, which u should never try, it leads to the so called "Mental unstablity"..just kiddin:DDD

Debprotim said...

blog updated!!!!

Voice said...

and i know it happens with everyone. after all i m not abnormal :P


yes...only in these times this phase was longer... :D
keep coming

like i said.... abt the line between dreams and reality was not clear this time

padh lia

Curious said...

hi! me again...u have been tagged!

Abhishek Anand said...

interesting blog.....

Maya Cassis said...

hey there..first time in here via curious's blog.
great post and great thoughts going on in here.will be back for more
take care

....R.A.J.A.... said...

1. very nicely put
2. u need councelling :-p
3. why that 'V' sign before every post title and sidebar heading?