Monday, December 22, 2008


Change. It is inevitable. Quotes. You will find one for everything and they are so confusing like life. Rarely we understand and mostly we don’t but we use it anyway. This is also a quote. You should speak your mind. If you don't who will. The very next site offers you a totally different quote. Words should be chosen wisely because you cannot take them back. A wound can be healed with time but it leaves scars behind. I don't know whether I will regret writing all this or not but I have to take it out.

 I am living away from my home since class V. As a result, I always find my friends closer to me than my family. I spent 6 years in RKMV Narendrapur hostel. There are many things which you guys will find weird about that hostel (school). But for us that was the way of living. I still remember my first day at Narendrapur. There were lots of strange faces and I didnot Bengali which was going to be a problem. My home was an overnight train ride from Kolkata but that seemed to be galaxies away at that time. I soon realized these strangers were just like me, lost and alone. In them I found friends and friendship which totally changed my life. Friendship, which can be valued and treasured for life. After board examination when we were leaving for our homes for one last time, many were crying. But I wasn't. At that time, internet was not so popular among us. So we exchanged phone numbers and address, filled slam books and promised to be in contact forever.

 Time passed and I again found myself in hostel. This time it was IIT Kharagpur, a totally different world from RKMV Narendrapur. This time situation was not so bad. I already knew some people and finally the group stuck and lasted through all the ups and downs of our engineering career. Time had changed. This was no longer school where kids used to live. This was an engineering hostel. Friendship at this stage was a total different game which was not the case at school. It was simple there. You like someone or you don’t.  Here it was not going to be so simple. Some is casual friendship, some what you can say 'matlab ke yaar' and some friends who were like family. I rarely used to meet or call my school friends but whenever I got chance I tried to meet them. I expected to meet the person who used to study with me in school but time has turned them into a different person. 

But that was normal (It was easy to convince myself at that time). A lot of things change after class X as we all know. Adolescence is replaced by adulthood, worries about career, worries about girl friends which further increases worries and increasing differences from your parents. So it was understandable and though I get to meet friends, I still missed friends whom I knew in school days. But engineering friendship is totally different. Character of person has taken shape and it is harder to change now.


So again when I was leaving KGP, I was not that sad like other people. And now we can easily locate each other on mobile and virtual world of internet. And it happened exactly like this. I am in regular touch with a lot of my friends. I supposed nothing unexpected would happen now.


But alas again I was wrong. Change. It is inevitable. All the time I get to hear.. you havenot changed a bit. I just smile and say nothing. But was it supposed to be change. You are not supposed to be changed. I still have a lots of friends on whom I can rely and have lots of fun when we meet. I know (atleast I assume) they will support if I need their help. But they are some what different people. There is some loss of innocence and enthusiasm. We cannot relish on small thing as we used to do before. We hide our loneliness and weakness from each other like we fear each other now. Silent and stupid conversations are no longer meaningful. These things brought us together. With time, we will grow older, marry someone, will have kids. Many things will change but something should not.


 Now I guess, I understand why people cry and get sad when they leave dear ones behind. They know things will never be same again. It took me so long to realize what most people knew intuitively. From now on, probably I will take each good bye more seriously because change ... change is inevitable. Should it end this way or we can write a new beginning for this.