Monday, December 22, 2008

Change

Change. It is inevitable. Quotes. You will find one for everything and they are so confusing like life. Rarely we understand and mostly we don’t but we use it anyway. This is also a quote. You should speak your mind. If you don't who will. The very next site offers you a totally different quote. Words should be chosen wisely because you cannot take them back. A wound can be healed with time but it leaves scars behind. I don't know whether I will regret writing all this or not but I have to take it out.


 I am living away from my home since class V. As a result, I always find my friends closer to me than my family. I spent 6 years in RKMV Narendrapur hostel. There are many things which you guys will find weird about that hostel (school). But for us that was the way of living. I still remember my first day at Narendrapur. There were lots of strange faces and I didnot Bengali which was going to be a problem. My home was an overnight train ride from Kolkata but that seemed to be galaxies away at that time. I soon realized these strangers were just like me, lost and alone. In them I found friends and friendship which totally changed my life. Friendship, which can be valued and treasured for life. After board examination when we were leaving for our homes for one last time, many were crying. But I wasn't. At that time, internet was not so popular among us. So we exchanged phone numbers and address, filled slam books and promised to be in contact forever.

 Time passed and I again found myself in hostel. This time it was IIT Kharagpur, a totally different world from RKMV Narendrapur. This time situation was not so bad. I already knew some people and finally the group stuck and lasted through all the ups and downs of our engineering career. Time had changed. This was no longer school where kids used to live. This was an engineering hostel. Friendship at this stage was a total different game which was not the case at school. It was simple there. You like someone or you don’t.  Here it was not going to be so simple. Some is casual friendship, some what you can say 'matlab ke yaar' and some friends who were like family. I rarely used to meet or call my school friends but whenever I got chance I tried to meet them. I expected to meet the person who used to study with me in school but time has turned them into a different person. 

But that was normal (It was easy to convince myself at that time). A lot of things change after class X as we all know. Adolescence is replaced by adulthood, worries about career, worries about girl friends which further increases worries and increasing differences from your parents. So it was understandable and though I get to meet friends, I still missed friends whom I knew in school days. But engineering friendship is totally different. Character of person has taken shape and it is harder to change now.

 

So again when I was leaving KGP, I was not that sad like other people. And now we can easily locate each other on mobile and virtual world of internet. And it happened exactly like this. I am in regular touch with a lot of my friends. I supposed nothing unexpected would happen now.

 

But alas again I was wrong. Change. It is inevitable. All the time I get to hear.. you havenot changed a bit. I just smile and say nothing. But was it supposed to be change. You are not supposed to be changed. I still have a lots of friends on whom I can rely and have lots of fun when we meet. I know (atleast I assume) they will support if I need their help. But they are some what different people. There is some loss of innocence and enthusiasm. We cannot relish on small thing as we used to do before. We hide our loneliness and weakness from each other like we fear each other now. Silent and stupid conversations are no longer meaningful. These things brought us together. With time, we will grow older, marry someone, will have kids. Many things will change but something should not.

 

 Now I guess, I understand why people cry and get sad when they leave dear ones behind. They know things will never be same again. It took me so long to realize what most people knew intuitively. From now on, probably I will take each good bye more seriously because change ... change is inevitable. Should it end this way or we can write a new beginning for this.

 

37 comments:

sumi said...

"parivartan sansar ka niyam hai"
love it or hate it but u ve to accept it....:P

Mayank said...

Nice one Bhav .. very coherent .. Loved it .. :D

saurabh said...

I hope the idea didnt come from where I'm expecting. I see some traces of that. And I will be really happy if you dont understand this.

poulami said...

This is the best blog of urs..i read......yes this is the reality...keep writing blogs like this.......

Avinash singh said...

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

now this 1 bhau is awesome... saale kitna soch leta hai....
waise i think many a times as ppl grow up their emotions become more complex too....

waise i just hope .. u wont change much...

Niladri said...

I don't know why, but this blog felt very touching. Maybe because we all fear change.

anukampa said...

ohh wow bhav..this is just awesome...it dragged me to memory lane when i passed through these stages..
suberb bhav..keep posting stuff like this...:)

shahid said...

abb rulayega kya [:)]

great one dost...
I m in your league when you say
"It took me so long to realize what most people knew intuitively".

Probably i'll also be taking the "good byes" to come more seriously.

Yes ofcourse change is inevitable.. some times you realize it and at times you don't. For good or bad, can be argued.

Prakhar said...

**We hide our loneliness and weakness from each other like we fear each other now.**....i guess we hide it because the other person is equally lonely nd sad...so y trouble them

good introspection...you had some quality time alone!

Ritesh Saurabh said...

"I didnot Bengali which was going to be a problem"

"understandable and though"

some problems with these lines...check out ;)


i want to have few friends...so it is ok with me if someone leaves us if i don't like him. :P

Rohit Anand said...

not something i wanted to read right now, sadly... i did.

shahid said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
shahid said...

@Ritesh Saurabh

I am sure those minor slips could do nothing to take away the meaning that this post carries so well.
and I am sure you can not agree more.

It will not take a lot skill to realize that the structure and the flow has been well thought of and it shows in here.

Once again an awesome post and Bhavesh is getting better n better with each blog that he posts... Hats off to this post :).

rajeev said...

awesome and meaning full ....:)

Winnie the poohi said...

Change is inevitable and good bye necessary.. the things you have mentioned.. I have myself felt them .. somehow we dont want the things to change but they do.. ppl tell u that you have not changed.. means they didnt notice you properly.. for u have also changed :) in many ways..

Phoenix said...

Change. :)

Don't like the template too much waise, the background color is too gaudy

Rishter Shigur said...

bhavananda...excellent one...i have stayed at my home for considerable periods, still i feel that my friends are as close as, if not closer than my family. Regarding change, i think you have taken this a touch too personally. This is something we Indians are quite used to saying when we meet each other after a long time. 'Arey tu to kuch badla hi nahin'/'tui to eki rokom aachish'- these comments are too commonly heard and spoken of in such get-togethers. Change is inevitable. We change physically, we change mentally as well with age. Maybe the core component remains unchanged, the soul itself.That is what you tried to convey, I feel. Keep it up!

sonik said...

When i meet new people, like in Kgp or in Tata Motors, I used to dislike few people, but later they became close friends of mine sharing my fun moments, helping me in every way, big or small. Now that's change.

Whenever I moved out of some place, I lost touch of old friends. Today when I see them, I don't have the same old feelings for them, that's change.

But amidst all this movement due to parents, studies and job, there's that small group of very close friends, who despite having changed so much, still have that same bonding that was there when we had spent time together.

Atleast for me, my closest friends have not changed despite having changed :)

Megs said...

Change is a constant. And most of the time it happens without letting us have a clue.

We change everyday , every moment , sometimes knowingly, sometimes unknowingly.

It is funny, it is weird , it is strange and no matter what it exists there. You want it or not !!
But you have to accept "CHANGE" in any manner.

========================
I like this post:)
Whole concept and the manner it goes....good one BHAVESH!!

Madhurima said...

U did a great job this time Bhav! Very well written yaar..!

chandu said...

True. Change is inevitable.
Nothing can change that.

I once believed people don't and can't change but I now know how wrong and deluded I was, then.

Amarnath said...

Change is the only thing that never changes in life

Deepshikha said...

Without accepting the fact that everything changes, we cannot find perfect composure. But unfortunately, although it is true, it is difficult for us to accept it. Because we cannot accept the truth of transience, we suffer.. Well this was the great people say (like you) ;-) I find it hard to accept...

For me Time, which changes people, does not alter the image we have retained of them.

Very well expressed... Kudos for it!!!

swati said...

I don't noe why, but this blog is too touchy. Maybe because we all fear change ..

Prakhar said...

ya ya yippe yippee ya yaa ya...naya post aane wala hai..i am guessin its the much awaited LL-3

Anonymous said...

Not planning to change your long break habits??

~~Deeps

raji said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
raji said...

Bhav

U Know what this is my first comment in my life

Really touchy one
Tears in my eyes monkey!!!!!

I don't find words
But whatever u said is THE TRUTH which i realized only after i read this one.
Keep writing so that i will at least learn from u by reading ur blog and become wise. :)

Abhiket -- Sky is the limit..... said...

great blog.....touched my heart.....i am a guy from RKMV deoghar........i went there in class IV itself so the thing that you have scribed is really close.....the difference being that you have more experienced than me......
any ways nice blog

Biswa said...

very touching and also very correct yaar!! really liked this blog..


also your new blog template looks gr8..

saurabh said...

this post owes some serious comments.. yes, we change. sometimes we want to and sometimes.. we change anyway. we relish our past memories, and try to relive them (atleast i want to relive them...).. but the greatest hypocricy is we ourselves dont want to be same again.. you never get something without losing something..and thats the only rule that is followed..

vineet said...

Guess as we grow older and wiser, we don't want to face the truth.

Bhav this post is the best one by you!

Canary said...

And wen do u plan to shed the laziness and write again?

ashvatthama said...

hello buddy.....
i must say that it was excellent....
really touched me...

ritika said...

i thought it just happened with me....but i think things change because we grow mature each day....we learn something new each day....i dunno whether growing mature is good or bad..if u r not mature...people find u unfit for the society...and if u grow mature...u loose an innocent side of urs..."U CHANGE"

navanita said...

This is really good.
As i spent most of my life in hostels with friends it was very close to my heart.
When friends change it hurts but then we forget that we also change.
as you rightly said "Change. It is inevitable".nobody can escape the truth..

Bhawna said...

a wise man recently told me.. life must be understood backward, but can be lived only forward. Do you agree?