I am living away from my home since class V. As a result, I always find my friends closer to me than my family. I spent 6 years in RKMV Narendrapur hostel. There are many things which you guys will find weird about that hostel (school). But for us that was the way of living. I still remember my first day at Narendrapur. There were lots of strange faces and I didnot Bengali which was going to be a problem. My home was an overnight train ride from Kolkata but that seemed to be galaxies away at that time. I soon realized these strangers were just like me, lost and alone. In them I found friends and friendship which totally changed my life. Friendship, which can be valued and treasured for life. After board examination when we were leaving for our homes for one last time, many were crying. But I wasn't. At that time, internet was not so popular among us. So we exchanged phone numbers and address, filled slam books and promised to be in contact forever.

 Time passed and I again found myself in hostel. This time it was IIT Kharagpur, a totally different world from RKMV Narendrapur. This time situation was not so bad. I already knew some people and finally the group stuck and lasted through all the ups and downs of our engineering career. Time had changed. This was no longer school where kids used to live. This was an engineering hostel. Friendship at this stage was a total different game which was not the case at school. It was simple there. You like someone or you don’t.  Here it was not going to be so simple. Some is casual friendship, some what you can say 'matlab ke yaar' and some friends who were like family. I rarely used to meet or call my school friends but whenever I got chance I tried to meet them. I expected to meet the person who used to study with me in school but time has turned them into a different person. 

But that was normal (It was easy to convince myself at that time). A lot of things change after class X as we all know. Adolescence is replaced by adulthood, worries about career, worries about girl friends which further increases worries and increasing differences from your parents. So it was understandable and though I get to meet friends, I still missed friends whom I knew in school days. But engineering friendship is totally different. Character of person has taken shape and it is harder to change now.

So again when I was leaving KGP, I was not that sad like other people. And now we can easily locate each other on mobile and virtual world of internet. And it happened exactly like this. I am in regular touch with a lot of my friends. I supposed nothing unexpected would happen now.

But alas again I was wrong. Change. It is inevitable. All the time I get to hear.. you havenot changed a bit. I just smile and say nothing. But was it supposed to be change. You are not supposed to be changed. I still have a lots of friends on whom I can rely and have lots of fun when we meet. I know (atleast I assume) they will support if I need their help. But they are some what different people. There is some loss of innocence and enthusiasm. We cannot relish on small thing as we used to do before. We hide our loneliness and weakness from each other like we fear each other now. Silent and stupid conversations are no longer meaningful. These things brought us together. With time, we will grow older, marry someone, will have kids. Many things will change but something should not.

 Now I guess, I understand why people cry and get sad when they leave dear ones behind. They know things will never be same again. It took me so long to realize what most people knew intuitively. From now on, probably I will take each good bye more seriously because change ... change is inevitable. Should it end this way or we can write a new beginning for this.

Living alone hopelessly becomes difficult that death seems peaceful. His hope is diminishing and only miracle can save him. And miracles do happen. Or that’s we believe.

Yesterday he saw Tanu, lying unconscious outside the safe house and he brought her inside, the safe house. He knew Tanu. They were friends, used to hangout together. Tanu is still unconscious. Vyom have seen many of his friends dying in front of him. This time he will not let it happen. He does not want to be alone again. He will take Tanu to government military camp, located out of the city or will die trying. He will save Tanu.

She is coming back to her senses now. Compared to gunshots, her voice seems musical to Vyom. Vyom consoles her that she is safe now. Vyom can feel his hope and strength returning.

For two days, he feeds her and cleans her wounds. They do not have much time to spare. Enemies are closing in. And they have no food… no choice. Vyom cannot see much beyond his safe house boundry. He asks Tanu to suggest the best strategy to go out from the city. Tanu is still scared. Beads of sweat on her forehead and no coherency in her talks. Vyom holds hand in attempt to assure her that everything is going to be okay.

Suddenly Vyom notices a white cloth belt sort of thing on Tanu’s waist.

He jumps off the bed. Takes out his revolver and aims it between the eyes of Tanu. Vyom bellows in anger “What’s in your waist”.

Tanu, who is too scared to speak anything, moves her hand to her waist.

Vyom speaks in hatred “That is bomb,right”.

Tanu mumbled in fear “No No”.

“Stop it” and without giving her any chance to prove anything he pulls the trigger many times.

Gunshots and that harmless piece of cloth is getting red by Tanu’s blood.

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My daily blog...

Jas is not her real name. She adopted Jas from Jasvinder, her real name. Right from her adolescence she was aware of her beauty. She never had problems in making friends. Abhay was just a normal character in the college but good in studies. Naturally, Jas was not even aware of Abhay’s existence in the college. After college, Jas felt a pang of reality. With beauty, companies were also looking for qualifications. But in the end she managed to get a decent job. There she met Payal.

Payal was also in her college, studious but not happening, the kind Jas and her gang always target for their pranks. Here, she was Jas’s only acquaintance. So Jas and Payal started spending time together. Payal helped her Jas out with everything leaving behind the pranks of college days. Payal and Abhay were very good friends and may be, Payal was having feeling for him. Abhay immediately recognized Jas and after sometime Jas also realized that Abhay was a nice guy. She thought of stealing Abhay from Payal and this did not turn out to be very difficult as Abhay had a secret crush on Jas in his college days. Deceived and lost, Payal moved to different city and different company leaving Abhay totally for Jas. Jas was used of girls loosing to her. But this time she felt emptiness inside Abhay though she managed to keep him allured by her beauty. Jas had never thought that she would fall for a guy like Abhay and now mere thought of losing Abhay make her desperate. Love do make people better.

So she always tries to make him happy and today she tried whatever she could. She looked towards Abhay again, still sleeping and still smiling. She smiles back but then her face stiffens. Memories of Payal are haunting her today. At this moment she feels a unique connection with her, feels her like sisters. She can feel her pain today. Tears of guilt and sorrow, roll down her cheeks. She knows she has lost Abhay, just like Payal did. Payal lost to Jas’s beauty and this time Jasvinder has lost to Jas’s beauty. She starts crying for herself. Payal has a chance as Jas will not be there everytime but for Jasvinder…. she always have to compete against Jas’s beauty and most probably she will lose everytime.

I don’t know how history will remember 2007. I don’t even know how long this history will remain. Time is so powerful that this vast universe will also perish someday fighting against it.

With each year, month, day … moment we get closer to death, still we celebrate things like ‘New Year’. Try to remember the 1^st Jan, 2007. How you hoped, you wished for all happiness and joy but it did not work. It is not supposed to work. Bet! This year would be the same.

So much pain, so much suffering, so much sadness. Then, why there is so much fuss, why we do not accept our fate and wait for the inevitable.

If you try to find the answer you will not succeed. You can only forget this question. Hope… it is a very small and fragile thing to have yet it is the only thing worth having. Whether we wanted this or not but this is our life. Now it is up to us, what we are going to do with it… smile towards it or sulk over it. The darkness is huge, but a ray will do. Even the best of friends will not stay with us forever. We all are on our own here. They can only help if we try. You can always find reasons to be depressed but most of the time it is just lack of our sensibility. I have seen people who have suffered (in true sense) have a more zest and respect towards life.

The sun is rising again. Let’s make every moment count.

Look more towards people who love you than people whom you love. I love you all (atleast i will try to but only together we can succeed.

Welcome 2008

My dear,

I love you. Yes, I love you and I would like you to consider on my proposal. I know this decision is going to be very crucial for you, so I intend to help in every possible way. I know you are single and you know me and you like me, so the only logical thing which can come to your mind, is the possibility of a happy future life, taking into consideration the good and the bad things associated with me and you will start mulling over it. On the other hand, I do not intend to make this letter a long one so I am leaving the good points, which leaves us with bad points, thankfully they are not many.

# Not so good looking (Ok, I don’t want any comments on that )

Well I think this is good because no other girl will try to steal me from you.

# I cannot take care of myself. My room and habits are all messy.

For this I will need you forever. I cannot live without you for a single day. (I need you because I love you)

# I am not stylish.

Means I am not wasting much money. You can buy your diamonds (ROFL, one diamond in one lifetime) with that and personally I would feel happier if you say that diamond is your best friend or if I see you giggling with your diamond instead of some other guy.

And I haven’t traveled much yet but I like seeing new places so one thing assured, is that I will take you on vacations regularly. And I do not drink. After 40, mostly men party for drinking and as I don’t, so my friends won’t be inviting me much for parties and I will be at your service, totally. And I am a good learner. If you can teach me in some interesting way , I can learn a lot.

Woohoo. Amazing. You are getting much more you thought you can ever get and you can see that I have good sense of humour. Many things will change in life but I will not stop loving you. And one more thing, in this ‘pati-vrata’ (although a dying trend) Indian girl mentality, chances are high that I can find another girl who is totally devoted to me but where can you find another such boy. Just kidding

#If you reading this line, you are tagged.

#Deepshikha

Tagged by Deepshikha

One thing about the person who sent u this

She makes awesome chocolates

(can we have more?)

One thing U hate in urself

To name one, I think a lot…. Sochta jyada hu.. jeeta kam hu ;)

(yeh dialogue suna suna lag raha hai)

Two things u'd do by ur next birthday

#Get driving license

#My daily blog will have 150 posts

(Pretty easy targets… kar lena)

Two things u want to have been changed by ur birthday

#My location (I should seriously think about this because my flat mates will move out anyway)

#Drama in reality shows

(Impossible, I m not sure about the first one though)

Three things u could say to the kid who worships u

#Listen and don’t watch me.

#I am more than you think. ;)

#Grow up!!! :D

(waise yeh bachhe hai kaha :O )

Three things for your soul

#Is it true that you are immortal

#What I, or rather You, were in last birth

#This is my(your) birth number …… ??

Four things for an Ideal lover

#Love

#Love

#Love

#Love

(rest follows… I know I know, I got carried away)

Four things that u have and will give me ….

Hahahaha… u really want them??

# My wit

# My time

# My Advice

# My Ideas

(Still want anything… ?? :d)

Five things u hate in others

# Inferiority Complex

# Treating someone in a manner in which that person, himself, would not like to treated.

# Bullying someone who is already scared.

# Prejudice

# Smoking

Five things u r scared of

# Misfortune

# My anger

# Free fall

# Boredom

# Heights

(list me aur bahut kuchh hai… )

Six under known facts about u

# I generally don’t lie

# Can flirt

# Have a nice aim

# I have no gf and never had any..

# I get angry too often

# I am more than you I am.

(Sach ke alawa kuchh nahi)

Six things u want the world to say about u

(Toughest one, because mujhe khud nahi pata mujhe kya chahiye)

# Whatever they feel in reality. Jhooti barai se karwa sachh better hai *sigh*

If you reading this line, you are tagged.

Praveen: who can give complex to even his superiors/seniors

Avinash: everyone wants to be with you and even want to be like you.

Srinivas: one of the most popular characters of IIT Kharagpur

Biswadeep: put him in any group and he will be accepted as most responsible in the lot

Sunasir: cracked CAT without studying

Anurag: quizzing wizard and not aware of his own potential

Abhishek: silent assassin

Debprotim: industrial department stud

Saurabh: became famous in his final year at IIT Kharagpur and now recognized stud.

Rohit: Genius

Joydeep: Happy go lucky. His lady luck is too strong.

Niladri: Don't ever study with him.He will score decently and you will fail.

Shahid: Engineer by destiny artist by choice

Santa: Awarded medal from Indian Mining Society for his 'outstanding contribution to mining industry' plus he can beat me in nfs 5.

Vinay: who needs to be intelligent when you look so great... just kidding.. he is intelligent too

…..

Well, it is not important to write all the names (anyway these names don’t require my recognition or credit in my blog). And also they are not special because they are my friends. But leave them. Stories are also always woven, songs are always sung for extra-ordinary people. In all these story of common man is left behind probably because we all know it too well.

But today’s tale is about a simple guy, some guy I know. I spent my four year with him, 4 long years. I know him too well. He can be read easily like an open book. He bugs everyone a lot even for his small decisions.

“Kya jee yeh thik rahega?”.. his very typical dialog … “HAAN BABA… THEEK RAHEGA”… used to be my nth response.

But what he lacks elsewhere, he makes it up by his immense zeal. Whatever he wants he eventually get it. Not because he is lucky but because he will keep trying for it for it.

His enthusiasm is unparalleled. Very recently he fell in love. Someone built Taj for his beloved what does he do? What makes his love story so special? Nothing!!

Once a monthly recharge of Rs 300 was enough to cover his mobile bills but now he requires a recharge of 300 every alternate day. So he talks a lot with his girl, must be good in talking with girls. No! He is a very shy person and all credit goes to that girl who tolerate him (yes in the beginning it is irritating but then you get used and he is addictive). One day he was talking with her and he thought he should meet her. That evening, he set to Jabalpur (1313 km from Bangalore) without any preplan and reservation to propose her. He spent less than 10 hrs with her there. Funny guy. Is the same person who used to be confused even on smallest decision? Probably this is love. I give lectures to others on love but he just awed me.

So friends! Here I present Amit Anand, his simplicity is his specialty. And for this Amit Anand, today I, legendary and ‘mahan’ Bhav bow in front of you.

BTW, he plays flute. Check my orkut video or this link.

He says his final words to her “Good bye” and jumped. Chilly wind starts hitting his face, forcing him to close his eyes. The falling sensation is making his body numb. In 10 seconds he is going to hit the ground. What he has missed was the air drag which has increased considerably by his open arms and loose clothes. He starts thinking about her. He is sure that she will feel sad; he wants to make her sad for leaving him so that she can realize that she did a mistake. A smile appears on his face. His conscience replied “Is this what you call LOVE”. He argued logically. But at that last moment he is not able to cheat his conscience. Why not! Cheating own conscience is the easiest thing to do. For the first time, he not only forgives her but instead he is feeling guilty. One thought leading to another and in those 5 seconds his whole life flashed in his mind. He hated all those who were unfair to him. But then there were many instances when he was unfair. His eyes are still closed but there is light now. The meaning of love and friendship are clearer than ever. He remembers the kindness shown to him, which he has often overlooked. Love is not in life time commitment, it is in moments. She cannot marry him does not mean that she does not love him anymore. She does. Being together is not everything and if it is everything he already has 2 years of it. If those 2 years means nothing then probably after spending 50 years together he will think like this only. Love is when and what you feel. He cannot die. He has to live for those people who love him. His mind is totally clear now. In the beginning he has opened his arms in submission but now his arms are open to embrace. His face calm and eyes still closed.

But he is falling. Falling at very high speed. This falling seems familiar. He has seen himself falling many a times in his dreams. His eyes still closed. And he is thinking “It has to be dream and now his eyes will open and he will find himself lying on bed.. and from tomorrow, he will set everything right. Actually everything is already right. Only his mind was full of anxiety which was getting projected in the real life and now that is all gone……………………………” THUD!!

Hi

For quite a few days, I wanted to say you something. But I was not able to structure my feeling in words and secondly I was not sure about your response. So going by the age-old method, I am lettering this to you. I never thought that I will ever do it, but now today I am going to do it. Hey! Wish me luck.

From the day we met, I liked a lot of things about you. I liked your sense of humour, your style, your dressing sense even the pictures you put in your avatars at different places. I used to think that I like you only because of all these. I liked thinking about you all the time. In every moment I used to think if you would have been here how you would have reacted. Even while watching movies, commercial or cricket match, I always wished you to be with me. I used to think your funny comments would have made it more interesting. At sad moments also I used to think that your words can inspire me. I used to think that I want to be with you because you are interesting and inspiring.

Then, one day I was thinking of some joke [that too to tell you] I remembered a really stupid joke. The joke goes like this- Santa singh goes to doctor and told him that every bone in his body is broken. Doctor asked “tell me exactly which bone”. Santa pressed his index finger to his thigh and told see it hurts, so thigh bone is broken, then he pressed his index finger to hand bone and said it hurts too, so it is broken too and likewise he repeated this process and he concluded that all his bones are broken. Then the doctor replied “Stupid, you index finger is broken”. Until that day, I used to think it as a stupid joke of stupid Santa singh. But that day I realized if we think as metaphor this is not really a stupid joke. Many a times we fail to realize the most obvious thing. I suddenly realized that day well it not the whole body it is just the finger .. means it is not everything you do or put I like. Actually it is the finger i.e. you. I like all these because you do it. It struck me like an arrow but suddenly everything was making more sense… so much sense.

From that day everything changed. Life became more beautiful. I tried to say everything to you. May be I said and you heard it too. I don’t think that you are the most beautiful girl on this planet; I just think you are more beautiful than the most beautiful girl in the world and I feel it in my heart, in my eyes and in my mind everywhere. I want you to give me the permission to buy everything you want in this life [of course as much we can afford]. You may think like that you are not so stupid to accept me as your life partner. But who told you that wise people never make mistakes. Equally not every time fools make mistakes. For once, be a fool do this foolish thing and I assure you that you won’t regret it. If ever there was a reason I had already forgotten it and now I don’t know why but I love you and I will love you evermore.

Just be mine. I long for your company, your touch, your voice but right now I am waiting for your answer. Take your time but please don’t take too long to decide because I am holding my breath.