Gunshots
“Firing has again started” says Vyom, aloud but only to himself. He is the lone survivor of that safe house. Sometime back, violence has erupted all over the country. Two strong organizations have claimed themselves as the ruler of the land and they are fighting against each other and government for power control.
Vyom has very little supplies left in the safe house. A stray bullet can finish his story anytime. Sometime he wished for it.
Living alone hopelessly becomes difficult that death seems peaceful. His hope is diminishing and only miracle can save him. And miracles do happen. Or that’s we believe.
Yesterday he saw Tanu, lying unconscious outside the safe house and he brought her inside, the safe house. He knew Tanu. They were friends, used to hangout together. Tanu is still unconscious. Vyom have seen many of his friends dying in front of him. This time he will not let it happen. He does not want to be alone again. He will take Tanu to government military camp, located out of the city or will die trying. He will save Tanu.
She is coming back to her senses now. Compared to gunshots, her voice seems musical to Vyom. Vyom consoles her that she is safe now. Vyom can feel his hope and strength returning.
For two days, he feeds her and cleans her wounds. They do not have much time to spare. Enemies are closing in. And they have no food… no choice. Vyom cannot see much beyond his safe house boundry. He asks Tanu to suggest the best strategy to go out from the city. Tanu is still scared. Beads of sweat on her forehead and no coherency in her talks. Vyom holds hand in attempt to assure her that everything is going to be okay.
Suddenly Vyom notices a white cloth belt sort of thing on Tanu’s waist.
He jumps off the bed. Takes out his revolver and aims it between the eyes of Tanu. Vyom bellows in anger “What’s in your waist”.
Tanu, who is too scared to speak anything, moves her hand to her waist.
Vyom speaks in hatred “That is bomb,right”.
Tanu mumbled in fear “No No”.
“Stop it” and without giving her any chance to prove anything he pulls the trigger many times.
Gunshots and that harmless piece of cloth is getting red by Tanu’s blood.
-------------------------------
25 comments:
dude..how do u manage to write short story? story-end is similar to Jannat movie story line. ;)
Excellent Bhavananda....Just goes to show that fear and mistrust rule when
anarchy is the norm in society.
Jeffrey Henry nick rakh lijiye.
short story expert
Mast Bhau, the end is too good. Sometimes incomplete stories are the best one and you used it to perfection.
phewww..the only bad story u have ever written..
my personal bias.. story content.. reason to make it bad for me..
I liked the way you narrated the story.. I didnt like the end :(
was it necessary to kill tanu in the end...:(..story was good..u cud have made it a bit longer..
Bhavu..good one.You could have narrated a bit more on relationship between Tanu and the main protagnist. But may be that was the hidden charm of this story :)
Nice compilation. You have come up with a strong message of distrust prevailing in relationships.
Carry on with your goodwork.
Ritesh
I have written only 2 SS so far
jannat maine dekhi so cannot comment
thanks for the comment
Rishter
thanks :)
RA
expert kaise...
thanks for the comment
joy
thanks :)
tere ko mera koi blog pasand aya :P
avi
maine just 2 likha hai...
koi nahi..
thanks for the comment
winnie
thanks winnie
i wanted to show the mistrust isiliye aisa ending tha
anu
i try to make it short so that readers do not have to waste much of their time.
It was not necessary but showing distrust was my main aim
thanks for the comment
irfan
haan yaar
chemistry dikhane se better rehta :)
movie banate hai.. koi sponsor karo
thanks for the comment
first part is really nice...but the last part seems to b a bit filmy....
brutally speaking ... dint like it at all[:(] ... and I can't exactly place why.
I must say its nasty way of survival.
>Like the way u carry the whole storyline ....
>simple n short....
>gain marks for narration
> but ending was really spiteful may be it was demand of story which u want to show
>but somehow I didn’t like ending :(
===================================
finally sm1 think to update smthing :P
great narrator.. u hv succeeded in presenting even the most simple content.. i was just wondering how u will end.. but did not expect that end.. good stuff.. ek happy ending wala bhi ho jaye..
pou bhabhi
thanks for your comment and feedback
shahid
oh that was brutal but honest so thanks re
megha
nasty ending was the story :(
thanks megha for your inputs
raju
if i get some inspiration I will...
thanks for comments
gd 1 but too short :(
suru
good description buddy simply luved it.... good theme too...
Hey! Nice read... very masterful story telling! though it was very short, it made u want to know the end....
But personally I dont like tragic endings :)
But the suspicious air was superb!!!
7 month break does u great, i'll try it this time!!!
Of all your blogs I liked this one the best. Short, direct, concise and abrupt.
The killing reminded me of 'Departed' where in the end everyone reacts to 'survival instincts'.
suru
are jyada lamba rahega to koi blog nahi padhega na
thanks :)
waise sachh me tere ko good laga?
athena
thanks :)
deepshikha
7 mahine kaha huye...
and ur blog are good enough without the breaks..
thanks
niladri
wah wah :)
thanks
The story did left something more to be desired... you can certainly do better, so keep up the good work :)
sorry 6 mahine huye the :D
nice short story... although really didn't like the abrupt and violent ending...
but I guess it is more in sync with today's world where every human fights for his survival and evil lurks at every corner.....
btw.. good to see you blogging again after your brief hiatus..
hey how 2 follow ur blog?
Thanks SS, biswa and harry :)
Deeps
it is random :)
i told u nah "circumstances matter"...this one was toooo good....nice story i must say
Post a Comment