Thursday, October 27, 2005

Choice.....

This is my gift; this is my curse; it’s my destiny. Who I am? No I am not Spiderman. But seriously, what makes one what he or she is? Is it destiny or choices we make. I think a person is resultant of consequences of all choices he/she made in her life. Even the smallest of our decisions can affect us in strangest way. Sometime we realize it and most of the time we don’t. But it keeps molding our lives. We are rewarded or punished accordingly. So twins are not alike; even the clones who share the same genetic code will be different from each other. Everyone must have watched “The Matrix”. In that movie one thing which was most stressed was choice and its affect. Whether to take red pill or blue one….whether to take left door or the right one…whether to believe Neo is the one or not. We take small decisions everyday. When we have to make big decision we think over it and we remember it. My life is affected more by small decisions than big ones. I can remember at least 4 of them and I am going to say about 2 of them…the 2 good ones.

When I was in class 4, I met one boy (my father’s friend’s son). We played football and talked whole day and in one day only he became my good friend. I was looking to meet him again. I came to know that he goes to a coaching centre. I told my parents that I will also go to that coaching centre. My parents were happy because this was probably first time I was showing some interest in studies (till now they tell me sometime that you showed some interest in your academics only once). But all I want to spend more time with my friend, academics was not even in my back of my head. This led me finally to a residential school in Calcutta and this changed and affected my life more than I can imagine or understand. Similarly after many years, when I was counseling for iit, we were told to fill one preference form (for allocation of seats in different iits and bhu and ism dhanbad). I filled my preference sheet and submitted it to a guy who was feeding the data in his computer. He told me after sometime that I had made one mistake. I had filled the same option at no 12 and no 63. Now I had to remove one option. The whole thing was taking a lot of time and I was becoming restless. I told him remove anyone (I was thinking…does that matter). But he knew that it matters. He said “No you should think over it and better consult your guardians too”. At that time I knew nothing about computer and its applications. I told him to remove the 63rd option. I was thinking that it would be easier for him to remove the 63rd option. I was unable to grasp the seriousness of the situation. I will be placed somewhere according to my preference list, this thing did not come into my mind. Anyway, I got the 12th option and if I would have asked that person to change my 12th option I would have been an engineer by now from IT-BHU. I would never be an IITIAN then (I don’t know whether it is good or bad). But certainly things would have been very different. I made one decision. I thought about the comfort of the person who was filling the data into the computer at the time of counseling. I was not looking at the bigger picture at that time. These two decisions were not made by thinking even little of the consequences they lead to, but were made spontaneously considering totally different thing. And these two events are the one of the biggest events in my life. They made me what I am now. How different I would have been… no one can say. But some says it doesn’t matter. You will become what you really are… somehow finally. I don’t believe this one. They say its destiny that drives us. Then what they really want to say is that we don’t make choices, rather choices choose US. They drives us, motivates us somehow so that we choose them. I don’t agree with that notion, but I fear sometime it might be true. You choose for yourselves which category you belong to. And I am sure there must be some events like these in your lives too. I know most of you take big things more seriously than I do. But sometime I am just too scared when I get some options and I had to choose something.

26 comments:

....R.A.J.A.... said...

You write quite well, unlike a lot of other bloggers who just fill up the page with unpunctuated crap. You build the thing very well. I won't comment on the conclusion part since I like very few conclusions (even in books, movies, ....).
The subjects you write on, are good and thought-provoking. And you always have a rational opinion.
Keep it up.

suru said...

The Butterfly effect and chaos theory says that a very small event can lead to a very big change.. even a butterfly can cause an earthquake....
by the way.. have u seen the movie the butterfly effect?? if not then see it !!!

saurabh
saurabhkumar4@rediffmail.com

Voice said...

~raja

thnx for visiting my blogsite.
leave conclusions; i also dont like many conclusions. u liked some part of it, this is more than enuff for me.


~suru
i have seen the movie. thnx for taking out some time from ur busy schedule.

Kritik4u said...

I am in favour of us making choices rather than choices choosing us. This is because if we are to believe that machine learning truly reflects our way of learning then we really have very little control over machines choices or ways of learning. It depends on the training data it receives. I am of the opinion that God gave us that freedom of choice and some training data through which we keep on learning.

And as suru talked about butterfly effect and chaos theory, every interpretation of data can have profound impact on our learning and eventually our lifestyle. So I personally feel if being an IITian is really the better option then of course you were plain lucky when u haphazardly made that preference list choice. But then we don't know what you would have been if your choice had been otherwise.

Now since my belief is that there is always choice so according to me life is an optimization process... To optimize your options to achieve a state that gives u the greatest happiness.. (or mayb the least sadness according to choice again)

Athena said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Athena said...

gr8 compostition!!! :)))

i envy you on conceiving such inspirational and motivational blogs :))) i guess this is the truth of every human beings life :))) nice description too :)) simple and sweet :))))

expecting more such posts :))

shahid said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
shahid said...

Just yesterday my staus messagae read " Destiny is just another word for not having a choice ". And today i have ur blog on destiny.

A GR888 topic to write on .... inspires me (who is not very bright with writing skills) to finally comment on your post. . So here is wat i feel ....
To start with.. found the opening line great ... it cudn't ve been better....and further down i agree with your ideas that its all about choice ...But i think however small a choice is ... it can always affect one in a big way...But destiny is not just that ... Sometimes u don ve a choice .. but then that too is destiny... Everybody is destined to be something.... to be somewhere... so Destiny is not past .. neither is it the Present,... its Future u r destined to.... u may choose watever fancies u ... but destiny has its own course.... Watever choice u make (or do not make) it'll lead u thr... Destiny plays a shrewd game... do watever u want .. try hwever hard ...u cannot escape it.
Having said that ... wat is worth discussing here is the consequence of the choice that u make.... so on your counselling day u could have chosen something esle .. and u cud ve landed up somewhere else ... could have known some other set of people ... and consequently could have been a different person altogether...that ... or ... this ... is Destiny ... Are u happy with that choice.. is all that matters................

samiranghosh said...

The choice we make at times act as constrict. We try to make them with all the prejudice, scanning through our gray matter and at times touching the cords of our heart. It’s not the matter of chance that shapes our life but the choice, which we eventually take that, defines our life. Imagine we are left with no choices, a routine man living in a routine world. Imagine we always have choices, a sane person in an insane world. Butterfly effect, in play. Still whatever we choose might be too daunting for us to overshadow the big picture. Imagine if we were to choose a baby based on “he” or “she”, the world would not have been a better place to flirt around. In any case, every coin has two sides. The choice that we take must be sustained by what we believe in. Believe is intangible which can only be quantified with the choice we take in.

Good post and a crisp way to tell your thought. Just that I choose to read it and believed that adding a comment might add up your satisfaction.

Anonymous said...

first things first... why wasnt i informed abt this blog..

kya dost itni aasani se paraya kar diya... bahhuuuuhuhuhuh...

khair koi nahi.. i know abt both these stories 2 well to comment.. but abt that scared part.. u n scared.. impossible...

AVINASH

suru said...

~suru
i have seen the movie. thnx for taking out some time from ur busy schedule

Kya be!!! aisa kya busy hu ki ek blog nahi padh sakta!!! aur tu load mat liya kar yaar... its not like i m busy thats why i run from you .. he he he.. phir load mat lena..


saurabh
saurabhkumar4@rediffmail.com

Soham said...

Lets see what would have been the case if you (and me too) were in IT BHU - you would have graduated by now, thus saving yourself the ignominy of spending the 5th year in some juvenile department; plus a chance to be a graduate in comp sc. (its the only field thats bringing in the moolah these days).
Well, your ego would have suffered at not being an IITian, but atleast its better being an engineer than a non-engineer

sonik said...

Well its like the question "What came first, chick or egg"? It may be that we choose certain things because we are destined to do so. Or it may be that we can change our destiny by our choices. Hehe

I mean take your instance. You didn't put any effort in making your choice. It shoudn't be even called a choice. You just did a random act. So coming to IIT might be your destiny. But then your decision of studying engg. (you must have given that a good thought) is a choice that has changed your destiny. Or maybe you were destined to think so. Pretty confusing huh?

Phoenix said...

@ment

yeah i am one of those bloggers who fill a lot of unpunctuated crap in my posts everyday!
:P

@voice
Well, amazing post...quality wise it's actually etter than ur previous posts..The structure and the writing is grt. i see u r improving!:p
But yeah, good to see a post here finally..

Anyway, your post talks of Coincidence and Fate too-one of my all time fav topics..I recently made a long post of this, am not sure if u read it. Anyway, there are some things that are meant to be..soem things that happen just by chance and leave such huge impacts on life.
Life changes in the tiniest of decisions. But u needn't get intimidated with it. It's like power, it's good but tricky. but u shd learn to enjoy it. Makes one responsible.
Anyway, chillax..

If u read Alchemist, Maktub!!

chandu said...

really a fine post after a break :)

choice makes a lot of difference..if its not for that choice i made 2 yrs ago i would have not been here :D

At that point of time,when one makes choice, does one really cares its a choice and see the road ahead of both paths and choose? then maybe i am not in that group..:P

Anonymous said...

~kritik
Optimisation clear indication of an engineer.i too favors that we make the choices but like i said sometime i fear i m wrong. i try to least sadness most of the time i guess..

~Athena
Simple and sweet...:). i envy you on conceiving such inspirational and motivational blogs . i seriously doubt it.

~Shahid
And i was thinking the first line sux. Yeah destiny do play shrewd games.

~Sam
yeah comments are always welcome. comments contain words and sometime more meaning between the words. u style is much crisper than mine..

~Avi
Dont blame me for keeping ur eyes shut. u n scared.. impossible...
:O hello... u know me at all???

~suru
no load.

~soham
Yeah yaar. the pain of 5th yr in indu dep.. u can understand the situation .. + bhu has some scenic beauties..;)

~Sonik
yeah confusing.but still conceived.yeah sonik u r right. these two events even dont Qualify for being called choice. just some naive steps...with huge influence.

~phoenix
read alchemist a couple months ago.
tumhare us post ka title kya tha?.agreed it is tricky.

~Chandu
wat choice u made 2 years back.;)if any1 tries to c then also he or she cannot percieve the full picture becoz of human's limited eyesight (it only works for 3 d world).

in the end
thanx all. .. and athena and shahid 's comment are finally in my cb:)

Anonymous said...

have u watched Matrix Rev/Rel before u wrote this one?

anyway, it's good :-)

~Rani

Chitrangada said...

well well


i mean i don have wrds for this one ..
u write really well n the best thing abt ur composition is that they r not that complicated to understand n even common ppl can connect to them ...

and abt that choice ..

i m fully agree wid u that our life's turns n twist depends on our small decisions ..
infact i can recall few instans that proved to be turning point in my life ..but we r human n i do belive in the power of destiny ..:)

good wrk
keep it up

Voice said...

#rani

I have seen whole matrix trilogy many times...

#chitra
well well

I think u are just too generous with words . Anyway thnx for stating ur view point

Again thans chitra and rani for dropping by and commenting

Captain Jack Sparrow said...

Sorry to be commenting so late.

The choices you say as small one are not really small. If going to a residential school was your choice, it certainly wasn't a small one!

I think small choices keep coming up everyday, like the one whether I will get up or not when the alarm rings early morning! :)) (I don't want to say that they don't affect our future, they certainly do.)

And when we reflect upon our choices, we can always look upon the outcome in two ways - good or bad. You might say today that your being a non-engineer is bad because you got fed up with 5 yrs! Think about this - you would we a salaried person for 40 yrs!!!! Unless you try to write your own destiny.

The Alchemist does say "Maktub".
But nothing happens by chance, everything thats happens in the boy's (SANTIAGO's) life is the outcome of the choices he makes in the pursuit of treasure. The Alchemist says that only if you try to realise your destiny (which is following your dream, and you must know what is your dream), then the whole world conspires to help you reach you goal.

Captain Jack Sparrow said...

I forgot to mention the most important thing -

GREAT BLOG

Voice said...

thnx captain

that choice was small for me at that time...resulted in something big that was what i was trying to say.

Anonymous said...

Keep up the good work »

extremum said...

yeah.. but mine was a really short one.. couldn't make it big.

I really feel the say way..

:)

Megha said...

Perhaps the beauty is not just in simply getting there, but the roads we choose to take.

and there are times when you feel hardly anybody can make choices..its all comes pre determined

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Bhawna said...

there is a saying.. what you're seeking, is actually seeking you.